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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not expect my parent to do these school runs?

34 replies

Paali · 19/03/2024 15:00

Our child started primary school in reception last Sept, due to our work patterns my mum and dad who work part time after their retirement kindly offered to collect our child from school and take him to theirs until I pick him up after work. Edit to add they are separated so it's not a joint home but their individual homes they take him to, occasionally if they are both off they will take him together to the park or whatnot as they still get on okay.

My parents really look forward to this and the time they get with DS after school for an hour or two. They are very close. Often it will mean just one of them does this as the other may be working that day.

My husbands older son also goes to this primary and is in Y6. Since our child started my husband has made a few comments about my parents collecting SS as well (and even his ex has too which I find extremely cheeky!).

Previously SS was in after school club but has since been allowed to walk home from school instead (both parents live within walking distance) until we or his mum get home. However, DH and his ex are always a bit nervous about this and I know would prefer him to not have to walk home.

My parents aren't really close with SS, my mum knows him sort of and they do get on, my dad has rarely met him.

Aibu to not want or expect my parents to collect SS as well and think it's fine for a Y6 child to walk 10 minutes to home instead.

He occasionally is collected by grandparents on mums side which is obviously absolutely fine and no one would expect them to collect our child too!

OP posts:
newyearnewknees · 19/03/2024 16:48

Scaffoldingisugly · 19/03/2024 16:07

One could say it's a perfect opportunity for your dps to forge a relationship with your dc's half sibling.... Taking the dc's dps out of it don't you want a decent relationship between the dc?

And a decent sibling relationship could only possibly be achieved by OP's parents doing the school run and providing childcare for OP's DP and his ex?

Paali · 19/03/2024 20:02

Scaffoldingisugly · 19/03/2024 16:07

One could say it's a perfect opportunity for your dps to forge a relationship with your dc's half sibling.... Taking the dc's dps out of it don't you want a decent relationship between the dc?

They do have a decent relationship.

OP posts:
Scaffoldingisugly · 19/03/2024 21:12

Can't imagine treating 2 dc from the same family so differently... Quite sad imo.

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/03/2024 21:21

Scaffoldingisugly · 19/03/2024 21:12

Can't imagine treating 2 dc from the same family so differently... Quite sad imo.

Who for in this scenario? Sad for the older kid who gets the house to himself for a bit, to get himself a snack and watch tv, instead of being picked up by his step mum’s parents who he doesn’t know that well and go to their house?

Scaffoldingisugly · 19/03/2024 21:51

Sibling goes off to granny's and he walks home to an empty home.. Not all dc like going back to an empty house.. Maybe he would like someone to want to bother with him.

ButterCrackers · 19/03/2024 21:57

Your parents get time with their grandson and that’s their choice. Your stepson’s mother and parents/family could step up and do more rather than complaining about your parents.

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/03/2024 22:00

Scaffoldingisugly · 19/03/2024 21:51

Sibling goes off to granny's and he walks home to an empty home.. Not all dc like going back to an empty house.. Maybe he would like someone to want to bother with him.

One of his parents perhaps. Not his step mother’s parents.

Presumably the parents discussed arrangements with their son before last September and came to something they were all satisfied with.

saraclara · 19/03/2024 22:05

Good grief. If his mates see him being picked up by his little brothers grandparents, he'll get mocked mercilessly.

Nowhere is there any impression given that HE wants this to happen. Why would he? Most of us got a real buzz when we got to the age when we were trusted to walk home alone. And I know my own kids did.
This is his parents being anxious, not him wanting to spend time with some old people that he doesn't know that well instead of chilling at home.

Thedance · 19/03/2024 22:15

YireosDodeAver · 19/03/2024 15:56

A y6 child doesn't need collecting from school and is perfectly capable of walking alone for 10 minutes. In 6 months time he will be in senior school ffs - its infantilising to have him collected at a time when he needs to be building up independence and self-reliance. Plus his presence would dramatically change the character of the time the grandparents are spending with their grandchild. Obviously in some families people like to form a close relationship with their step-grandchildren but this isn't obligatory.

Children change a lot in 6 months. If he isn't ready yet he isn't ready. I collected my children from school until they left primary school and so did the majority of parents. They were perfectly fine when they went to secondary school but I don't think they were ready before then.
And I certainly don't think he would be bullied by his mates if his brothers grandparents picked him up (comment from previous post).
Lots of grandparents collect primary aged children including those in year 6!
That doesn't mean your parents should collect him. It's not their responsibility. His parents need to organise something for him.

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