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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I doing enough for my 15 week old?

13 replies

MaltipooMama · 19/03/2024 14:26

Hi all, FTM here to a wonderful 15 week old baby boy! I suppose I'm just fretting a little bit that I should be doing more with my little one (I think the online, social media Moms have influenced this a lot!) so wondering really if I'm just being brainwashed by what I'm seeing online lol or if in people's experience I really should be doing more?

DS has been a good sleeper since birth really, so since he was one month old he has taken all his naps in his crib or his pram (it's a newborn, flat pram!) prior to that I held him for all of his naps but he still slept in his bed overnight, often for 6+ hour stretches other than when I would wake him to feed him, and he still does this now.

He will be awake for 3 hour stretches during the day and during this time I hold him or sit him on my knees and sing to him, read him stories and just generally chat to him, we also do tummy time and practice holding objects, he will also spend some time lying on his changing mat as he loves to kick his legs and chatter and sing, during this time I'm normally sitting next to him and we're chatting etc, I'll also pick him up and wander around the house with him or do a bit of dancing etc, and people tend to comment that he has excellent head/neck control, he's been holding his head up since he was 6 weeks old. So I've always felt like I really engage him during his wake times, and he is the happiest baby I've ever seen, constantly smiling, giggling and doesn't ever cry unless he's overtired. However, and this is where I'm feeling guilty, I don't "baby wear", I don't co-sleep, he doesn't nap on me during the day and he doesn't sleep in my arms at night. I'm just feeling like this is the expectation now and particularly as he's my only child is it selfish to not have him attached to me 24/7? As mentioned he is the happiest little boy, his eyes light up when he sees me and he breaks into a massive smile! I also felt like I've maintained a good balance as I'm able to get jobs done around the house while he's asleep, still cook homemade meals, have a shower and get myself ready every morning etc. I guess I'm worrying that I won't have the bond with him that others have with their babies if he's not sleeping on me, co sleeping and not attached to me all day. What is your experience, did you not do these things and still have a great bond with your child? Or should I be doing more to keep a physical closeness? Appreciate any advice that anyone can share from your own experience!

OP posts:
MintTwirl · 19/03/2024 14:29

You parent the baby you have. Some are happy to be put down, others need physical closeness of cosleeping/baby wearing. I’ve done both with my children.

noodlesfortea · 19/03/2024 14:35

It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job and you don't need to do any more for him.

Some babies are easier than others. Sounds like you got one of the easy ones, so enjoy it while it lasts (long may it last!) and try not to be too influenced by social media.

TimetoPour · 19/03/2024 15:19

You are clearly doing it right if your baby is happy!

Babies are excellent at telling you when they need something.

You do you.

RosesAndHellebores · 19/03/2024 15:21

Sounds fine to me. I'd like to see some walks and fresh air mentioned!

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 19/03/2024 15:22

If he's happy then you're meeting his needs, all sounds great and really good that you chat to him ,that's so important for language development. Carry on what you're doing 😊

TheShellBeach · 19/03/2024 15:23

You're doing really well!
This time, when they're not very tiny, but still unable to roll or crawl, seemed to go on forever when mine were little.

Congratulations on your lovely baby!

MaltipooMama · 19/03/2024 15:36

Thank you all for your replies! It's really nice to have some reassurance as I certainly didn't anticipate how nerve wracking it can be as a first time parent being scared to get something wrong! (Although I don't doubt I will have my fair share of that too lol) I guess all babies are different and I may be lucky to just have an "easy baby" so to speak!

@RosesAndHellebores yes I was more concentrating on the things we do in the house, we do go for walks at least 4/5 times a week and I have a garden that we sit out in when the weather is appropriate 😊

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 19/03/2024 15:41

You absolutely do not need to ‘wear’ or co-sleep with your baby. Fine if people want to do that, but it isn’t necessary, or even the default way of doing things. Your baby sounds like a very happy little chap and you sound like a brilliant mum, so don’t worry.

Rosesanddaisies1 · 19/03/2024 15:44

The best thing you can do is stay off social media and do whatever you think is best. None of those "influencers" have any qualifications. And you do not need to worry about them sleeping on their own, that's a positive! Bonding comes from how you interact when they are awake - talking, reading, being engaged.

DuploTrain · 19/03/2024 15:44

I remember with my first DS I always felt like I should be entertaining him or doing something educational - even when we were out for a walk I’d constantly chat to him. It was stressful… and completely unnecessary.

If he’s happy to be put down, enjoy it while you can. Once he’s a bit older he might get more fussy about you leaving the room etc.

GoodLordHelpMe · 19/03/2024 15:46

Good lord, keep doing whatever you're doing. My child is 9 and still sleeping in my bed 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

MaltipooMama · 19/03/2024 15:47

Definitely agree with the stay off social media comments! The "influencers" are all 10+ years younger than me as well 🙈 not sure when I got so caught up in it all but I'm definitely going to break away from that lol

OP posts:
jannier · 19/03/2024 16:50

Your doing fine babies don't need to be with you 24/7. It's okay to sit down and take 5 minutes while they kick or look in a mirror

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