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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's ok to move a child that's not mine away from the slide?

33 replies

chickenmama · 27/03/2008 12:28

We were in the soft play place earlier today. There was a small baby sitting at the bottom of the slide and the child I mind was at the top waiting to go down. He had been waiting very nicely for quite a while but I decided to go in before he got impatient and ended up hurting the baby. I asked the parents in the area whose baby it was but no one knew, so I picked her up and moved her a couple of feet away. I felt a bit awkward but the baby didn't object and the kids were happy.

A little while later the same thing happened. I waded in to sort the situation, only this time I didn't ask whose baby (same parents). Just as I lifted the little one away a man came storming over telling me I had no right to touch her as she wasn't mine. I assume he was a childminder as he was with a bunch of other kids. I told him I was sorry, that I had asked previously, and that I didn't want her getting hurt but he didn't say anything else. The rest of the time we were there I had to keep getting his attention to move the child but he didn't speak to me.

I was wondering what other people would think of this. Was I wrong to move the child? I was only looking out for her safety but the way the guy responded made me feel all guilty.

OP posts:
TheHedgeWitch · 27/03/2008 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RubySlippers · 27/03/2008 12:30

no, you weren't wrong!

What if your mindee had landed on the baby - i am sure the bloke who complained would have been really pleased about that

3NAB · 27/03/2008 12:30

Don't feel guilty. You acted reasonably imo.

belgo · 27/03/2008 12:31

you did the right thing. The man overreacted

suzywong · 27/03/2008 12:32

what an ARSE!

YANBU

amidaiwish · 27/03/2008 12:33

You definitely did the right thing. silly arse of a man.

MoreSpamThanGlam · 27/03/2008 12:36

What a twat...(him not you)

cory · 27/03/2008 12:38

I have been glared at for grabbing a toddler who was about to run into a busy road. Seems the defilement of my unholy touch was worse than anything that could be done by tons of steel and rubber. People, eh...

becklespeckle · 27/03/2008 12:41

YANBU, he should have been keeping a closer idea on the baby! I would be grateful if you moved my child out of harms way!

Original poster
chickenmama · 27/03/2008 12:43

Thanks! You've all made me feel a lot better. I was starting to doubt myself, I'm glad others would do the same

The man had already complained to me that my mindee had hurt one of his kids, which, when I got him to say sorry, turned out to have been over excited play and an accident (the man's words). I think maybe I need to be a bit tougher and stand my ground more!

OP posts:
Original poster
chickenmama · 27/03/2008 12:44

lol, cory, it's crazy isn't it!

OP posts:
JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 27/03/2008 12:46

YANBU at all, You did the right thing. Hate people like that! He'd have been storming over to complain quickly enough had your mindee crashed into the baby. If it's any consolation if that were my baby I wouldn't ahve minded you moving him at all as long as it was done in a nice way! (which I'm sure it was)

We had a similar situation recently, we went for coffee in a garden centre, two women walked in with a toddler, left the toddler at the seating area while they went to get their drinks. On the low table in front of him was a decorative dish of water with small pebbles in it. After a few minutes of them queueing, the temptation got too much and he plucked a pebble out of the water and went to put it in his mouth.

We had been watching, saw this and said "no no! don't put that in your mouth!" of course he dropped the pebble, and then started to cry and look round for his mum. She came stomping over and gave us a right look. Were we supposed to just let him swallow the pebble and choke, in the interest of minding our own business, perhaps?

myjobismum · 27/03/2008 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 27/03/2008 12:50

yanbu

I hate in the playground when much bigger children start to climb up the slide just as one of my Dc is about to go down. Once Ds (2 then) came down the slide and kicked a boy (8 ish) in the face as he was doing just that and I got such a lashing from his mother

buttercreamfrosting · 27/03/2008 12:50

YANBU. Some parents or carers in these situations seem to see it as a personal criticism of their parenting skills fi another person has the nerve to move/help/prevent injury! I think it's a bit sad personally. I'm always very grateful if my dc's are 'looked out for'.

Bluestocking · 27/03/2008 12:51

Of course you did the right thing. It takes a village to raise a child - especially when the adult who's supposed to be in charge is a div.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 27/03/2008 12:52

I just realised my story doesn't fit in on this thread, but just an example of how parents/carers should pay attention.

staryeyed · 27/03/2008 12:52

We live in a mad world

donnie · 27/03/2008 12:53

totally reasonable - the man sounds like a lazy arse!

bluenosesaint · 27/03/2008 12:55

YANBU - he should have thanked you!

PotPourri · 27/03/2008 12:56

YANBU - he needs to look after his baby then! He would have gone nuts if he had to get off his lazy bum and tend to a crying baby because she had been bumped into by a child going down the slide - which is, after all what slides are for!! And you would have got it in the ear for that too, no doubt.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 27/03/2008 12:58

I just remembered, last year myself and a friend took the DC for a daytrip to Whitstable. We were having a great time on the beach and chatting away as the DC made a sandcastle.
An elderly couple stopped to coo at the DC then recoiled and snatched something from my friends DDs hand. They had been decorating the sandcastle with pebbles and fag butts . We were horrified and thanked the couple but felt like such bad parents for not noticing.

Miggsie · 27/03/2008 13:00

...yes that man obvously needs to watch the Tweenies "play safe" episode where they are very firmly lectured on how dangerous it is to sit at the bottom of a slide
(ditto standing in front of a swinging swing)

BTW when my DD ran away from me a man grabbed her to stop her running over the road and I THANKED HIM
So there you go!

soopermum1 · 27/03/2008 13:21

YANBU. i am glad that strangers look out for my son's safety as well as their own children's. when i was in mass a few weeks ago, DS was playing in a little blind spot behind a pillar. i couldn't get out of the pew but he was near his friend's mum so wasn't completely keeping an eye on him. later, friend's mum explained that a stranger had told off my son for pulling coats down or something like that and i was glad they did it. within reason, of course, i'm glad when people intervene, don't want my son to grow up with the idea that he's untouchable whenever i'm not around.

similar thing happened when i was at nursery picknig up DS, one of the children was in a room they shouldn't have been in and picked up some scissors. his mum (staff at nursery) was briefly distracted so i held out my hand and asked for the scissors rather than telling his mum and wasting time when he could've hurt himself (he was quite excited about having the scissors.)

common sense in my opinion

bluejelly · 27/03/2008 13:29

YANBU

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