To give up on dinners entirely?

[Goodgravythisisfantastic]

So bloody sick of thinking about food. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, every day, every week, every month. Who cares?

Tonight we had beans on toast with sausages and fried egg. Son (nearly 3) ecstatically happy. I realised everyone is happier with the simpler meals and I'm happier for cooking them.

I'm ready to give up and cook only beans on toast, baked potatoes, tuna pasta, fish finger sandwiches, toasties with soup, and chicken burgers.

YABU- stop being lazy and cook a decent meal ffs
YANBU- embrace the lazy dinners. Everyone's happier. In fact here are some lazy dinner ideas of my own...

Thanks in advance! 😴🥱🥔🥪🍳🌭🫘

We have a small freezer so batch cooking is not an option, but I have recently discovered how much more pleasant it is to cook a few things on Sunday for the week ahead than to go to the effort of cooking during the week. So on Sunday morning now, I plug in my headphones, ignore everyone and potter round the kitchen making a pie of some sort for heating/cooking the next day (shepherd's/fish/meat), a chilli, spag bol or meatballs and a chicken dish (curry, lemon chicken, butter chicken). That gets us to Wednesday/Thursday and then the rest of the week are pizza/takeaway/fish finger nights.

I don’t know but I imagine its an American term and refers to mechanically reclaimed meat, (the very last bits of meaty slime scraped off carcasses and used to make cheap nuggets etc.)

I get like this sometimes. It can really come to be a lot! We usually have about 7 meals we really enjoy and just rotate those 😝😅

by the way, you gotta get pizza in the mix…

please provide evidence that people especially in the uk feel food planning is above them? FFS.

Id like to extend this ennui to a center parcs holiday where it seems you need to book restaurants in advance or starve. I have spent way, way to much critical brain time over the past few weeks considering what we might want to do each day with a fussy four year old, not just activity wise, but whether we all might want breakfast, lunch or dinner.

It is so tediously banal a way to use my limited capacity for intelligent thought that I've basically decided I cannot be bothered and will be doing a shop consisting of bread stuff, tins of soup and beans and sausages (a meal of kings, say I!) and picky bits like hummus, breadsticks, veg sticks and fruit. I also bought sausages, hot dog buns and stuff to make a carbonara.

I've recently discovered I have little to no appetite at dinner time so would rather skip it. It's a hard habit to get out of, there's such a strong cultural thing in me to sit and have dinner and if DH were not so keen I just wouldn't bother anymore. I might have a few works with him, chuck out half the stuff in the freezer and simplify. I have a chest freezer that is full up and honestly, I look in there and can't figure out what I'd assemble from it. Another stupid waste of brain space for me.

Thanks, you've inspired me to go radical on this one!

I’m in my 70s -I hope really DH goes first so I get a few years of eating WTF I like.

I’m in my 70s -I hope really DH goes first so I get a few years of eating WTF I like.

Why can't you do it now? Assuming he has working arms of course.

I realised some years ago I wasn't obliged to feed DP and after a few times of starting the conversation 'what do you fancy for tea' and him saying 'dunno' then me thinking 'I could do X' then 'but DP won't eat that', then repeat with Y and Z, I thought 'fuck that, I'm not going to be one of those women who does constant mental gymnastics trying to feed other people their preferred food and never gets to eat what she wants despite doing nearly all the cooking' so now I just say 'I'm making X if you want some' and sometimes he does and if he doesn't I have the leftovers the next day or freeze them.

If he won't eat what I cook he has sandwiches, toast, canned soup or takeaway. Its not healthy and he spends too much of his own money on takeaways but I'm past caring.

What he cooks I prob won’t like, he doesn’t wash the salad, he does repairs and stuff I don’t do.

UPF - ultra processed food. https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-magazine/news/behind-the-headlines/ultra-processed-foods

The only downside on beans on toast is if you warm the beans in a pan it is not pleasant to wash.

But I use a pyrex jug in the microwave so I can literally pour the beans.

Amen to this. So bored of meal planning.

if I had the money, I would just get a shitload of posh waitrose ready meals delivered to my house for the rest of eternity😍

@Goodgravythisisfantastic i’d highly recommend the ‘Roasting Tin’ series of books by Rukmini Iyer. Everything in one roasting tin. One tin to wash up. Honestly, it is a game changer for family cooking. I make tomorrow’s tin whilst prepping today’s. Add a bowl of salad (and by this I mean a bag of leaves opened and chucked into a bowl) or a ciabatta to the table et voila! You might need to invest in spices if you aren’t stocked up. Loads of recipes online but you can adapt really easily the veg ones to include a piece of fish/chicken etc. I’m also a big fan of Nigella (who is my spirit animal) she opened my eyes to flavoured olive oils. No need to chop garlic - use garlic olive oil instead. Ditto chilli/basil oils. Game changer. If you decide on a whim to buy a whole melon/mango/pineapple at the supermarket, prep it when you get home otherwise they just become ‘stunt fruit’ in the bowl because no other bastard can be arsed to deal with them.

Whoever was asking about what UPF meant, it is Ultra processed food. Usually defined as food which is no longer recognisable from its original state or food which has one or more ingredients you would not find in a domestic kitchen (stabilisers/flavourings/preservatives).

I definitely echo making batches/meal prep when you are in ‘the zone’ I do this in a Saturday morning whilst watching shite on my iPad. The family know not to interrupt me unless the usual rules for waking a sleeping woman/disturbing the mothership apply: it is unexpectedly snowing; a bona fide celebrity has died; your leg is hanging off.

But yes, it is soul crushing when you have responsibility for feeding everyone or the alternative is DH using every fucking pan in the house whilst not clearing up/washing up as he goes along. And yes when kids can make their own stuff it gets easier and less guilt ridden.

And yes, if everyone is out I have crisps and wine for tea. And I pair wine properly with my crisps. A nice Malbec with roast beef monster munch for example 😂

It is a big problem when an entire household doesn't like the same food. If I left it to DH to cook (which he happily would) we would have pasta every night. Zero veg. And quite weird flavouring in it, sometimes so spicy to be inedible.

So I try to cook. I made a lovely risotto last week, it was so easy to make as a one pot meal I was delighted to add it to my go to repertoire. He actually said he didn't like it, he wouldn't want it again. It wasn't meant in a nasty way, he was very apologetic. People have different tastes and unfortunately I think we are opposites. He won't ever eat salad and many other things I would eat all the time if it were just me.

The mental load is too much. Unfortunately... he doesn't like beans on toast 😭😭😭

You understand that there are portion sizes attached ?

I hear you all. Eldest DC is 30, youngest 16 so I’ve been making dinners every day for years. That was until DS2 went to Uni, by then DD (16) had started cooking her own dinners. They look really nice. She is a creature of habit and always had some type of pasta with some tomato purée / small amount of jarred pasta sauce mixed in with cream, garlic and other stuff. She usually makes a side of roast potatoes. I haven’t cooked for her for 2yrs or so, apart from an odd roast, but even then I usually take us all to the Carvery up the road as a treat when DS2 is home.

DS2 is home tonight for Easter and I’m so looking forward to seeing him. But means I’m cooking again for a month, apart from any nights he goes to his dads, or we go for meals. DS2 can cook too, and he does at Uni, but I ‘like’ to let him have a break when he’s home and I cook. He’s not a ready meal fan and would never ever have beans on toast, don’t think he’s had that in years. But like his sister he likes pasta so tonight I’m just cooking a diced chicken breast, spiral pasta, pesto, cream, spinach (just defrost the frozen block or 2 in microwave) and pine nuts. Literally takes 15 mins. I do a few meals like that. Carbonara, chicken pasta dishes etc. By the time he’s back to Uni I’m ready for it to be DD and I again. I just eat something simple usually, the same kind of stuff over and over which suits me.

Yeek!. Just buy chicken breast??

I totally get where you’re coming from op. It can feel relentless.

i try to do simple meals or meals that can be prepped in advance and frozen. I have things like cottage/shepherds pie and bolognese sauce in the freezer for days I can’t be bothered to cook. Also, baked beans are fine now and again. We don’t eat out or get takeout often more due to cost than anything else.

For all those saying thank goodness for school dinners for their child's cooked food . I work in the school and let me tell you there's more food going in the waste then in their bellies...so many fussy eaters even the chips get thrown away as their not good as home made 🙄 I cook from scratch and make it last 2 days, some days it's freezer food too, I get the frustration of cooking and planning meals but since I make enough for 2 days atleast the next day I can relax.

We cook extra of everything so there’s plenty leftovers.

So not having to cook something major every day.
often dinners are simple like veg omlettes, but sometimes they’ve had a substantial lunch as it’s been leftovers in a thermos flask.
Sometimes leftovers are put into bowls/ plates in fridge the night before so once we get in from work it’s a quick home made micro meal.
honestly I think at least half our meals are leftovers.

I think upf is ultra processed foods?

I do all the meal planning, shopping and cooking in our house and I can’t believe how quickly it all comes round again every week!
To reduce time spent in the kitchen, I use frozen chopped onions and frozen mash, garlic olive oil rather than having to peel and press whole garlic, and eat more salads that just involve emptying packets onto a plate (e.g. smoked mackerel, beetroot, salad leaves - healthy and quick!). I also have a master list of all the meals we eat regularly so I can just pick one from that. I sometimes batch cook and do have lots of freezer space for that. But yeah last night’s dinner was sausages, (microwaved frozen) mash, peas and gravy and DP was delighted with that!

To those who meal plan, can you actually sit down and eat a meal that you're not in the mood for and really don't fancy?

@RhubarbAndFlustered We meal plan and this is occasionally a problem, not quite being in the mood for the meal that we've planned that night. I'd say it only happens once a fortnight or so because we generally plan meals we both enjoy.

Most of the time, yes, we would just have the planned meal anyway, because it's planned so we don't have to think about it, and that trumps 'having what you fancy'. Meal planning is so convenient and as an adult I don't feel I have to bend to my every whim, so generally I eat what's there and get on with it.

Very occasionally we would order a takeaway - but usually if we really don't want to cook/ are too tired to cook. That would never be just because we don't fancy what we originally planned.

Bit of a generalisation, there are plenty in the UK enjoy cooking and eating well, just the same as there are those who don't in other countries.

As long as it’s fairly healthy- don’t stress! Stressing itself is bad for you!

it’s fucking hard being a parent and usually way more so for us women. Doing everything. Don’t pressure yourself. Simple meals, batch cooking, repeating meals sometimes- it’s fine ffs. Even the odd ready meal is ok. Just do what you can do. Don’t stress xx

It’s not just making food after a 12hr shift it’s the thinking of what to buy, getting out to buy it, needing to work to buy it… then cleaning up after the few minutes it takes to eat it after all the previous effort 😆😖