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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel so worried about my sister

10 replies

Justkeepswiimming · 18/03/2024 19:17

Long story short, my brother is abusive and controlling. He's not worked consistently for a number of years, and in that time has followed a number of hairbrained ideas in that time to earn money. All of which have failed.

They have been living an executive lifestyle so far away from what her previous life was, on her earnings and savings. Its all gone. The equity from her previous marital home, savings, pension pots. All gone.

They ended up owing so much money that they had to sell the home they owned outright to pay debts. Then moved abroad with the plan to build a business which they have thrown all remaining equity at. He knows nothing about this industry, but remains convinced it will work. I feel so terrified for her and my niece and what will happen if this all falls apart!

OP posts:
GivingYourHeadAWobble · 18/03/2024 19:19

Why is she not terrified for herself and her daughter?

Justkeepswiimming · 18/03/2024 19:27

GivingYourHeadAWobble · 18/03/2024 19:19

Why is she not terrified for herself and her daughter?

I think she is to be honest. But for a number of reasons I believe she no longer has the confidence to do anything about it.

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Shinyandnew1 · 18/03/2024 19:32

I’m confused. Does your sister live with your brother?

benjoin · 18/03/2024 19:34

So your brother sister and neice all live as a family unit?

Crunchymum · 18/03/2024 19:37

Assume its your brother inlaw and sister @Justkeepswiimming ?

Justkeepswiimming · 18/03/2024 19:37

Justkeepswiimming · 18/03/2024 19:17

Long story short, my brother is abusive and controlling. He's not worked consistently for a number of years, and in that time has followed a number of hairbrained ideas in that time to earn money. All of which have failed.

They have been living an executive lifestyle so far away from what her previous life was, on her earnings and savings. Its all gone. The equity from her previous marital home, savings, pension pots. All gone.

They ended up owing so much money that they had to sell the home they owned outright to pay debts. Then moved abroad with the plan to build a business which they have thrown all remaining equity at. He knows nothing about this industry, but remains convinced it will work. I feel so terrified for her and my niece and what will happen if this all falls apart!

@benjoin @Shinyandnew1 key detail missed out there. Brother-in-law it what that's meant to say!

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Justkeepswiimming · 18/03/2024 19:39

Yes @Crunchymum. The text deleted first time and I clearly missed a key point the second time round!

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MzHz · 18/03/2024 19:41

Can’t you let her know she has you to come to if she needs to?

worry is one thing, offer real tangible support is another

tell her you’re there for her whenever she needs you

and mean it.

pleasecallmeback · 18/03/2024 19:41

I was going to say if it's your brother and sister and their child, then you have a bigger problem than his silly money making schemes. Grin

However - are you in a position to offer board and lodging for your sister and niece when it all goes pear-shaped?

Justkeepswiimming · 18/03/2024 19:43

@pleasecallmeback that did make me laugh. I wouldn't be unfortunately. I want to offer actual help but it wouldn't be able to, although other family members would.

To say anything that suggests I don't support this wholeheartedly is to push her away and stop her from speaking at all.

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