To decline a hen do invitation and how?

[Horizonhopper2021]

Ive just be added to a WhatsApp group for a hen do of a girl I speak to about twice a year if that. We've never been close friends but we used to be part of a large group of girls.

I removed myself from that group 2 years ago without really any explanation because they were the type of girls you just knew where talking about you the second you turned your back, and I couldn't be bothered feeling self conscious around them anymore.

well all those girls are going to be there and I really don't want to go. But how do I decline the invitation in a group message with these girls without looking like a tit?

it's early next year so I can't really give the excuse of work. Or affordability it's almost a year in advance. I just simply don't want to go 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sorry I already have a big event that day… hope you have a lovely time.

Leave group

“Thanks so much for inviting me, unfortunately I’m already away that weekend so will have to decline. I’ll leave the group so it’s easier to track acceptances - have a fantastic time!”

Honestly, just say thank you for the invite, sadly I won't be able to attend hope you all have a fab time. Then leave the chat.

You don't have to justify it, it feels really alien the first time you do it (or it did for me anyway).

You can privately message whoever the admin is off the group and say you can't make it. Then leave the group. Job done!

"Oh sorry I can't make it but have an amazing time" and if you must then add a reason "Oh sorry I can't make it as I am away / have a wedding that weekend / hate you all, but have an amazing time"

Then leave the group.

Just say this. And send the hen a private message as well, as presumably she knows who is invited.

Thankyou all, done! The hen dosnt know about the hen it's a surprise but I have already declined the wedding. As 1. Didn't want to go, but 2. Id have to sell a kidney to go it was thousands of pounds to be a guest. 😂 no Thankyou

Just say you have a clash with a family event then phase out and mute the group

Have they just added you to this group without asking? If that's the case I wouldn't even bother saying anything, just remove yourself from the group again. They will get the hint.

‘Thank you for the invitation, unfortunately I’m not able to go but hope you all have a great time!’

this works for many occasions!!

I'd just leave the group honestly
Glad it's all sorted OP.

As everyone else says - you don't need a reason, or to make up a reason.

Just say "Thanks for the invitation but I'm not going to be able to make it. Hope you all have a fab time" then leave the group.
Or, if you prefer, just leave the group without saying anything (though that looks a bit odd in my opinion).

It doesn't really matter, does it, if you don't see / spend time with the other people in the group.

Personally I'd just leave the group

Why are you worried about how you come
across to a group of girls you don’t care about?

Just tell them you won’t be attending and leave the group (again).

Thanks for the invite. Sadly I cant come. Hope you all have a wonderful time

Just leave the group. You barely talk to them and don’t like them.

Apologies, I can't make it. Hope it's fun!
Then mute or leave the group.

Ah, it's sorted I see! 😀

Just say you can’t come. You don’t have to go and you don’t have to explain why.

Sometimes an explanation is worse, as people can smell bullshit. I had leaving drinks at work once and loads of people declined on the day and they all felt the need to come up with a strong reason. I’d never heard of so many ill mums.

Unless it’s an Olly Murs-type situation (didn’t go to his twin brother’s wedding because he was on the X Factor) people will not get offended if you decline.

"Dear Whoever, Thank you so much for your kind invitation to your hen party. Unfortunately, I will be unable to attend, but I hope that you and all your guests have a wonderful time".

Never apologise; never explain.

‘Thank you so much for the invite but Im going to decline it’s not really my cup of tea, have a lovely time!’

This

Leave out the cup of tea that's rude

Jings, definitely don't send this.

There's a reason we all pluck around at some seemingly-justifiable reason we couldn't make it - like it clashes with a holiday or graduation - and never, ever say we just don't fancy it.

I just messaged the organiser separately and said Hi, the hen do sounds fab and I hope you all have a great time, but sadly I can't make it. x

she replied and removed me from
the group chat, thanks all. I feel a massive weight lifted now. I hate being rude but there was no way I was going to that 😮‍💨