Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kissing your kids on the lips?

96 replies

LGyouknow · 18/03/2024 14:55

Just interested to know what people's thoughts on this are?

Kissing your kids on the lips whether it be mother to son or father to daughter and if you find it ok at any age or if there's an age where you think it's no longer appropriate?

I have done a poll as I personally find this strange but I know I may be in the minority here.

YABU - It's totally fine
YANBU - I agree it's inappropriate

OP posts:
Imnotarestaurant · 18/03/2024 16:14

LGyouknow · 18/03/2024 14:55

Just interested to know what people's thoughts on this are?

Kissing your kids on the lips whether it be mother to son or father to daughter and if you find it ok at any age or if there's an age where you think it's no longer appropriate?

I have done a poll as I personally find this strange but I know I may be in the minority here.

YABU - It's totally fine
YANBU - I agree it's inappropriate

Are you saying it’s okay for mothers to kiss their daughters on the lips but not sons? Same as fathers not kissing their daughters but sons are fine?

peakygold · 18/03/2024 16:14

We have never kissed DCs on the lips, and now they are adults, never will! I think it is very wrong indeed and extremely inappropriate. There is a professional darts player who, when approaching the stage for a tournament, will pause to kiss his adult daughter fully on the lips. I could heave. She always looks a bit uncomfortable.

Peaceandquietwithmydog · 18/03/2024 16:17

Never kissed my children on lips ,not for any particular reason.
Two sons have hugs now,daughter absolutely hates being hugged m which is ok
Granddaughter hugs and kiss when she wants one …sometimes just blow kisses.
As long as they all feel loved it doesn’t matter how you display it.

CheapThrillsMeanNothing · 18/03/2024 16:18

Iwasafool · 18/03/2024 15:02

It's a fantastic way to spread herpes so personally I wouldn't do it.

This.
We never kids our DCs on the lips. More likely to spread germs of all kinds lips to lips.

Magnastorm · 18/03/2024 16:22

As long as everyone is comfortable with it, of course it's fine. It only becomes "wrong" or "inappropriate" if one party doesn't happily consent to it.

Singleandproud · 18/03/2024 16:25

I'm prone to coldsores so always avoided it, slobbery toddler/ children instigated ones stopped at around 4/5 I think.

Iwasafool · 18/03/2024 16:37

CheapThrillsMeanNothing · 18/03/2024 16:18

This.
We never kids our DCs on the lips. More likely to spread germs of all kinds lips to lips.

Show quote history

Yes spreads germs but with herpes it is a lifelong infection. Who would want to risk that for a child.

Bagpussrules · 18/03/2024 16:43

Yes germs ahoy, my dad has cold sores because of a relative kissing her as a baby. I also think there’s a societal dividing line between kisses on the lips and kisses on cheeks because lips are an erogenous zone….it’s part of safety against abuse to say kisses on lips are for mummies and daddies only.

SherrieElmer · 18/03/2024 16:46

It is totally fine. Those who criticise it are because they are sexualising the gesture. They should have their minds checked out honestly.

K0OLA1D · 18/03/2024 16:48

I'm 33 and still peck my dad on the lips

My DC both boys aged 10 and 12 both kiss me on the lips

Iwasafool · 18/03/2024 16:50

SherrieElmer · 18/03/2024 16:46

It is totally fine. Those who criticise it are because they are sexualising the gesture. They should have their minds checked out honestly.

Yes protecting your child from a lifelong infection with no cure is sexualising them. You keep telling yourself that.

incognito50me · 18/03/2024 16:52

I think it's cultural. We have never done it and would never do it. There are arguments against it (germ transfer), but many affectionate gestures can transfer germs. The culture I grew up in is very warm and physically affectionate, yes children and adults never ever kiss on the lips, so I have a visceral reaction against it. Also - and I'm not sure if it's related - I would never "clean" a dummy by putting it in my own mouth first.

TheTimeIsNowMaybeNow · 18/03/2024 16:53

I've never been a big fan but 3 of my 4 are, even the adult ones. I'm not a big fan of the snotty dgc doing it either but go along with it 🤣

Februaryfeels · 18/03/2024 16:54

Never done it. I also get a visceral reaction when I see it

I can't articulate why I hate it, I just do

Plenty of hugs and kisses in our family but not kissing children on the lips.

JennyBeanR · 18/03/2024 16:54

Yes I kiss DD (4) on the lips. Don't think anything of it, but I certainly wouldn't force her.

Hoglet70 · 18/03/2024 17:05

Still kiss my parents on the lips. DS started offering me his cheek when he was about 13/14 so now me and DS do cheeks.

Shayisgreat · 18/03/2024 17:07

My 5 year old has asked me to stop kissing him but every now and then will instigate a kiss on the lips. It's not an issue for this to happen - It's not sexual in any way, shape, or form. But if the child does not want to do it, it needs to stop.

Alwaysgoingforit · 18/03/2024 17:07

Never did this with my dc, it's not for me personally.

EmilyTjP · 18/03/2024 17:08

kissing on the lips isn’t something we do in our family but I don’t think it’s weird or inappropriate… literally doesn’t bother me

ButterflyKu · 18/03/2024 17:09

I remember when I was in school and I was branded one of the ‘bad kids.’ A teacher took me under her wing and I remember going with her to the staff car park so that she could grab something off of her dad. When they finished talking they kissed on the lips. I remember being so creeped out😂

I have two small kids and I try not to kiss them on the lips unless it happens by accident. If children are happy kissing their parents on the lips then I don’t see the problem if other people want to do it. Seeing my 30 something year old teacher kiss her dad on the lips was just all types of wrong! (yes I know that’s hypocritical)

LadyEloise1 · 18/03/2024 17:11

I didn't when they were little and I don't now that they are older.

CaterhamReconstituted · 18/03/2024 17:12

I find it odd, or French. Not saying it’s dodgy but I find it a bit weird.

Kellogg1 · 18/03/2024 17:31

Kisses on the lips is fine in our house and will be until the kids decide it’s not a comfortable thing. DH feels the same.

riotlady · 18/03/2024 17:39

I never thought I would do this as it’s just not a thing in my family but whenDD was old enough to start giving proper kisses (18months ish) she insisted on kissing us on the lips so now that’s what we do (she’s 6). Will stop if she ever wants to

hattie43 · 18/03/2024 17:46

I think it's weird , lips have always been for partners in my family .