to ask if ever quit/cut down alcohol to help with stress/anxiety?

[bageljoy]

Namechanged. Going through a challenging time at the moment with career issues, money worries, and an unwell family member. All pretty stressful, and in stressful times my habitual instinct is to reach for the wine...

I know this isn't good - and lately I find, rather than helping alleviate stress, booze makes my anxiety about a thousand times worse.

If I've had anything to drink, I find myself wide awake and tearful in the middle of the night, and often totally hopeless the next day - and this is where I'm at right now as it happens! Last night I was out at a St Patrick's get together with friends last night. I thought it would take my mind off all the crappy stuff that's currently going on, but instead drinking just made me feel worse. I didn't really enjoy the evening, and even though I wasn't particularly excessive on the booze front, I was awake and fretful at 3am. I feel awful today😔

I know a lot of this is circumstantial, and that the simplest solution is just not to drink for a while - at least until life becomes a bit easier. That's what I intend to do - but I was wondering if anyone can relate to this? Any words of wisdom or advice would be hugely appreciated. Thank you.

It helped me enormously to cut down / stop drinking, I definitely sleep better after nights out now and don’t so end the next day over-thinking the previous nights events.

Don't drink, just have a sip/glass of water or soft drink, give it a few days, exercise, get up on time etc and dress appropriately for the time of day, before you know it you will be feeling better and saving money and health

Possibly see GP?

Yes OP it's very much documented that alcohol induces anxiety, the 3AM episode you're talking about is typical.

If you can, take a break, just to enjoy a good night sleep

There’s only positives from cutting down/out alcohol.

you save money, it’s better for your health, aids weigh loss, stops you waking up after doing/saying things that you wouldn’t dream of doing when sober!

if alcohol had never existed and was invented today it would be banned. The way it makes people behave when under its effects just wouldn’t be seen as ok.

I've basically almost stopped drinking completely for this reason.

I was a moderately heavy drinker for 20 years and didn't realise until I stopped how much alcohol was contributing to stress and anxiety. My life is also pretty stressful now but its under control: I wouldn't be able to cope with it if I was drinking to the levels I was in my 20s or 30s.

You don't say how old you are but perimenopause often changes women's relationship with drink massively and you may find that's a factor. I used to have quite high tolerance and I now find even very small amounts of alcohol will affect my performance, my mental capacity, patience, ability to exercise, ability to sleep, etc etc. The ability to do my job competently, good sleep, exercise and good relationships with my friends and family take precedence so the booze has had to go. It just isn't worth it any more.

There's no easy solution to this: it's very hard to deal with a very stressful life if you're drinking at significant levels.

Yes! I still have a drink a couple of times a month but nowhere near to the extent I used to. Day to day I am much happier and my relationship is better too.
It wasn't as if I was experiencing any kind of depression but now I look back and I was just flat.. and thought it was normal to wake up a few times a night with my mind racing.
I never want to go back to those times.

Not sure how old you are, but are you possibly also peri-menopausal? I noticed that menopause and alcohol were a terrible combination for me, my anxiety went through the roof as well as severe bouts of insomnia and depression. I had to quit drinking completely, have been 6 years alcohol free and feel much, much better.

Yes I am doing so at the moment. For today try to get some rehydration eg Dioralyte or those fizzy rehydration
tablets and some paracetamol and get to bed early.
My tips are to have a soft drink or water first when you get out. Then you’re not quenching your thirst with alcohol. Decide before you go out how much you are going to drink I.e. drink mindfully (overused word I know). Try to see wine as an accompaniment to food (like the French) . Drink a glass of water for every glass of alcohol. Drive sometimes so that you can’t drink. It’s shocking though how many people will keep a tally and complain that you are ‘always driving’ Ignore this.
A doctor friend told me years ago that the first drink makes you euphoric and after that it’s a depressant. I try to keep this in mind although I do have more than one. Not always though.
Good luck. Our culture is steeped in alcohol but you can control your own alcohol intake and enjoy a drink without it making you miserable. Oh yeah and no or minimal drinking on nights before work.
It’s nice to enjoy mornings!

Yes, I could have written your post about thinking a glass or two of wine would help me de stress and forget about things for a while. To an extent, it did. Except when it came to night time and I’d wake at 2/3 o clock with my heart thumping and by brain switched into full anxiety mode. This would last a could few hours until I was so exhausted I’d finally drop off to sleep. Then the next day, I’d be emotional and anxiety ridden. Rinse, repeat.

I actually stopped drinking all together for a couple of months. This broke the habit of reaching for the wine every evening. I now have a glass or two perhaps once a week, sometimes less - but even that now affects my sleep so I may not bother at all. I thought I’d not be able to cope so well without my wind down drink. But actually, it’s quite the opposite.
I used to read about people saying that stopping drinking was the best thing they’d ever done and inwardly roll my eyes, but actually, now I’ve drastically cut down, I can see exactly what they mean.

Thank you so much everyone. Your positive words and empathy made me a bit tearful actually - I feel so shaky today, and I know part of that is the hangover! Together with the anxiety I often also feel like my self-esteem is affected after drinking, I start questioning quite a lot of stuff around my own 'worth' in various areas of my life, and just generally feel very low.

Yes I am 44, and have quite a few peri-menopausal symptoms, so I sure that is not helping either. I know anxiety can escalate at this age. I've always had a tendency towards worrying and over-thinking and have had some therapy in the past for it...just lately it seems off the scale though.

It's great to hear your experiences. Keep them coming!

I don't drink much these days but when I do I get hugely anxious the next day. I gave up drinking for quite a while at one point as I couldn't cope with the resulting anxiety but I do enjoy a weekend drink so I choose to put up with it. It's not a nice feeling though and I appreciate an alcohol free life would probably suit me.

Yes I stopped drinking every Saturday last year when my mum got ill. Since she's died myself and my husband rarely drink. He's drank once this year at a party I've drank a couple more times (three wines at most) and the difference its made to our moods, productivity, finances, anxiety is so big I don't think we'll ever go back to drinking as often as we use to - usually once or twice at weekends. I love no longer being filled with anxiety on a Sunday about going back to work the Monday and not feeling sluggish and shattered for the first couple of days of the week.

Sorry you're going through a hard time. Why don't you give yourself a month off and see how you feel.

went AF 3 years ago and the anxiety reduction and improved sleep are what kept me sober, it is DEFINITELY worth it

This is all so encouraging to hear, thank you.

I guess because I associate booze with relaxation and fun times, I automatically struggle a little with thought of giving up when my life is quite stressful! But it's so clear now that alcohol is making things worse for me...

I'm going to start by giving up for a month, and go from there. Thank you again everyone.

Yes, I quit drinking totally for this reason, I was getting terrible anxiety and panic the next day. I read 'The Naked Mind' and never drunk again.

I wasn't hugely anxious before I quick drinking, though I was fatigued and depressed. Stopping drinking has certainly improved my mental health.

Now I will be honest, I was drinking a lot and by the sounds of it, a lot more than you have been (daily), and when I first stopped my anxiety certainly got worse for the first few months. I suspect that won't be the case for you if you are mostly a weekend drinker as you'll be used to going days without alcohol anyway.

What I absolutely found though is that I thought alcohol was helping me relax, unwind, chill out, disconnect for a bit, what has been even more relaxing has been having weekends where I can just enjoy my life - not have to be recovering from drinking or thinking about drinking or actually drinking.

Now to relax I sleep, I read, I go to bed early, I go outside and do something I enjoy (walk, swim, bike ride, etc.). I underestimated for so many years now doing these actually relaxing things would have such a positive impact on my mental health. Sounds really silly and obvious, doesn't it?

Definitely if you dont drink, you will sleep way better.

I started drinking a bit every evening when I had young kids and a full time job. Badged it as stress relief to have a beer or a wine after they were in bed. It did work in that I was calmer in the evening and fell asleep ok but I would wake in the night panicky like you and never felt refreshed so then needed a drink then next day to help again. Never was drunk but it's not a healthy habit. The anxiety was getting worse which I think was peri menopause. I quit drinking completely in August last year for 5 months. I found it harder to get to sleep for a week or so but my sleep was better quality and it definitely helped the anxiety.

I have the occasional drink now but I always get anxious the day after it or in the night so I don't think it's worth it to drink much now. Just special occasions.

I decided at the beginning of December to stop drinking for a while and see how I felt . I haven't drank since and have no desire to . I've always enjoyed a drink but had an awful 3/4 years . I realised that I was using alcohol to make me happy but actually it was doing the opposite. Like you I wouldn't sleep, would feel horrific the next day etc etc. enjoying a drink is probably a understatement- I own my own bar- but I can honestly say it's the best thing I've ever done. I've gained so much by cutting out one thing

DO NOT QUIT ALCOHOL. THE ANNUNAKI WANT YOU TO STOP DRINKING. DO NOT OBLIGE THE ALIEN INVADER

I've given up alcohol and don't have any caffeine after 3pm and both things have helped my anxiety massively. I also talked to the GP and have medication and also dod some talking therapy sessions.

One Thing alcohol def doesn’t do is alleviate stress.

Thank you again. It's amazing how many of us there are! We obviously have a bit of a problem in this country - binge drinking is normalised, we start off as teenagers and then many of us carry on...

I still find it difficult not to over-do it once I start, and even if I manage to be moderate, it makes me feel terrible. Definitely time for a break...