To have ds in nursery for two days and dd for three?

[Spendmoretime]

I work three days a week so DS did these days in nursery. I have been on maternity leave since July last year so reduced then to two a week. I am due to go back beginning of July. But because I am a teacher I will only be back for three weeks and then six week holiday.

We can probably have DH wfh at his parents house for one day a week and take ds with him for three weeks (so three days total.) Then have him start three days again in September.

I feel that I can spend one day a week just with ds over the summer which I think will go him a lot of good, and can do things that I can’t do with two children like take him swimming and so on. But it feels a bit mean to dd … what are views?

My dd was in nursery when she was a baby and ds was 3 and in school so wasn’t. So in the summer holidays, I did quite a lot with ds while she was in nursery. In term time I worked 3 days so had 2 days with just dd so it didn’t feel unfair. My ds still remembers those days in the summer holidays when just me and him would do day trips - it was lovely

DD won't know anyway, she'll be to young to understand all the arrangements, and they wouldn't be in the same room together at nursery. So do whatever works for your family , it will be nice to have a day with DS to do the things you can't do with a baby in tow.

That sounds lovely @Ogam and it’s a good point, he starts school September 25 so August 25 and summer 26 I’ll just have ds.

I would do it. Once your DS starts school, you will presumably have 9-3 2 days a week term time with your DD. Plus your DS went 3 days a week when he was a baby.

It will never be completely equal but just aim to meet the needs of both the best you can. Your eldest will often have to 'wait' a bit to do older things when his sister is old enough, so nice to have some time for him right now.

Do whatever works but I would be careful with how it’s framed so DS doesn’t get the idea he can only have special time with his mum because DD isn’t there if you know what I mean? She won’t understand but he will wonder why she is going to nursery and he isn’t and it could affect his understanding of his place in the family and his sister’s so I would be mindful of that.

How would you approach it? I think the problem is to an extent it is true, I know he’s sidelined a bit but then dd is sometimes too … just hoping to have a day a week where he doesn’t have to share me!

Maybe explain DD needs the extra day at nursery to help her settle in and get to know everyone while she’s still quite new to it - probably true - and steer clear of talking up your day together too much if he’s struggling with other days having to be geared round her naps for example?

@Spendmoretime

i think it's a good plan. Being able to have some time with each of them 1:1 is lovely.

Just do what you can at each stage of the next few years! Soon enough they'll both be at school & you won't have the same flexibility.

IF the eldest says anything (doubtful) just say it's a good time to be able to do things that babies aren't able to do. 💁🏻‍♀️.

except if you're still teaching you'd be able to put them into different holiday camps & have some 1:1 time then.