My MIL is a narcissist. All she does is talk about herself. When she comes round to ours she goes on and on and on and makes every topic about herself. I could tell her I had a bad car accident in the past and nearly died and she’ll reply with “oh no poor you! I remember the time I NEARLY had a car accident” DH said back in the day she was a good mum but after getting divorced she completely changed. She's lazy expects a lot from him and doesn't listen to us. We constantly tell her how we feel about the things she does and she acts as if we're going against her for no reason.
Long story short she’s someone we can be civil with but would rather not have her at our house until late at night (No matter how many times we hint or say ds has to go to bed, she still won’t leave until atleast 11pm) or even ringing us each day about ds. We don’t take him to her house and she knows the reason why.
A solution for us would be to start taking DS to her house. If we took him once a week she’d be more than happy and we could leave whenever we wanted and she wouldn’t always ring or ask when to see him as she knows we’d bring him once a week. The only issue is MIL is a heavy smoker and smokes inside her house. This caused many arguments when DS was born but she didn’t stop for her own children never mind our DS. She must smoke about 10 cigarettes a day in her house. If we took DS to hers and let her know beforehand she probably wouldn’t smoke inside for a couple of hours before we come but I know she’d have spent the rest of the day smoking in there and the smell would still get on all of us when we leave. Is this a risk or would we be okay taking DS there for a couple of hours one day each week. DS is 5 months old and I don’t want to harm him whatsoever.