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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I lost my temper

1 reply

Helphelpx · 17/03/2024 15:51

I feel like me & DH keep having huge fights started by me. I have very little help from outside sources other than a visit to my dad and mum's house once a week. I have a 4 year old boy who is in nursery part time, a 21 month old boy and a 8 months old.

Baby is exclusively breastfed & is a very loving but hard baby who is very clingy and does whine a lot. He is unable to crawl yet so I think it's just a hard stage however it has been very challenging as I feel I cannot give older boys enough attention as I'm always dealing with baby.

I feel extremely guilty that I cannot give the other two my attention and would love to do more activities and outings with them however this is very hard. I did bake in the chaos this morning but overall I feel they are missing out.

As I breastfeed I am often left with baby and husband take older boys out etc. I feel like I'm the boring shouty parent and he does all the fun activities. I also feel he is not fully tuned into the baby and does not ask how he slept etc. I also feel like I am a Debbie downer then going out of my way to explain to husband the baby has cried all morning etc.

I feel like I can do nothing right and that I'm an awful shouty mum and the kids would have a better time without me :( I feel like husband does not listen and then I explode and he acts although it came out of the blue and Im a bit mad.

My house is a mess, washing needs done, I am a mess and now I feel like an awful wife and mother. Does anyone else have struggles like this :(

OP posts:
TossieFleacake · 17/03/2024 17:36

It is really difficult having 3 under 5 years. You are doing your best and it sounds like you are trying really hard to make sure that you spend time with all of your children.
When you are BFing it is only natural that that child takes up most of your time. Your DH sounds like he is taking the older 2 out to give you some time with your baby.
The older 2 are being cared for, doing fun things and that's ok that it's not with you just now.

Things will get easier, you will find a routine that suits you and that means you get quality time with each of your children.

Don't worry about how tidy your house is, honestly no one else will care. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

Keep going, you are doing brilliantly and there are happier days ahead.

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