To wonder why people air their family issues publicly

[sellinghousenewstart]

Morning :)
I was scrolling through tiktok and came across an account by which a grandmother had been suddenly cut off by her son, daughter in law and couldn't have contact following a family holiday.
Now she posts daily detailing what had happened and all latest updates. It's become all unpleasant. Account is @jeannyfox4

Why do this? Especially if you are going to go down the legal route? And frankly it's so undignified. I don't get it at all why a lady in her seventies feels the need to air this. Or indeed anyone
Maybe it's me being unreasonable? Thoughts?

Are you not on Facebook? Hundreds of things like that on there.

Yep. Facebook is full of those types.

Maybe they want support and advice. Maybe they are narcissistic attention seekers.

I agree OK. Incredibly counterproductive because virtually impossible to walk back from something like this. Seemingly guaranteed to inflame a situation and as you say tacky and undignified.

I think some people really struggle to restrain themselves from doing it.

Wow how does she think they get back from that position of a public slagging off? From my socail media dramas it's a urge to be right and validation. Energy possibly better sprnt on self reflection. Dhs aunt in her 70s posts weekly about some vague wrong doer either with lots of "what's up hun? Pm me" stuff. His cousin posts everytime they go into hospital which is more often than I fill my car up. Just praise the Lord they aren't are your nearest and dearest relatives.

It's all very sad at the end of the day.

I love that you think it’s all those things, but dropped the handle for others to go seek out this car crash 🤦🏾‍♀️.

They probably do it because they have an audience 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Fair point @Dweetfidilove

@PutOnYourRedShoesAndLetsDance I don't really use FB much

She’s probably devastated and needs to get it out somehow.

So sometimes, I think the person doing it genuinely needs real life support and isn't getting it. Which is concerning.

But honestly, a lot of unacceptable behaviour that goes on between families goes on because its normalised within that family to treat each other like shit, or it's behind closed doors, or noone ever challenges them on it. Think about DV - for a LONG time it was seen as a 'family issue' and therefore law enforcement or the community wouldn't want to get 'involved', whether than be by actually holding the perpetrators to account legally, or attempting to help the victim get away, or even challenging the perpetrator on unacceptable behaviour shown in public towards the victim which was a precursor to violence behind closed doors. This attitude still persists in some communities, but is widely becoming unacceptable because people started talking about it and exposing these people, in their communities, legally etc.
Obviously this isn't the same thing - but it's the same train of thought. People often display behaviour behind closed doors to family members that's horrible and bullying, but its written off as just 'family' - there's been several threads on here from people who were horribly bullied by older siblings, and have suffered long term effects from it being ignored or minimised. This isn't acceptable, and the only way to make people realise that is to hold it up to the light and say 'this is not okay' - now, whether social media in certain circumstances is the way forward or not, that's up for debate, but its just another extension of the way society process change when it comes to social matters.

I saw a video (reel? - one of those auto play ones) of someone filming her children being removed by social services. It was awful. I can only assume that the mum felt that it was her only way to protest/get justice. It's really sad that she wouldn't have understood that it would go against her and that there would be much better ways of challenging what was happening.

I think some people genuinely feel that the more likes or comments they get the more they've been vindicated.

To get attention/likes. She's got 13.5 thousand followers 🙀🙀🙀🙀and they can't all be. Mumsnetters who've just read this thread!

I have a bitter ExH who was prone to posting shit about me…I just ignored it. He looked like a twat to normal people.

he’s a total narcissist and has to have the last word and needs external validation. Perhaps that’s why they do it?

however, there is a part of me that would love to post ‘the truth’ one day, and out him for being the abusive, lying bastard he is, but then I realise it makes me look like a twat, nobody cares and all the people I care about know this anyway.

im saying that because I understand the urge to get ‘your side’ out there, but it’s not worth the hassle!

Because they think that if their family members do not want to hear them, someone else will hear it and make them hear them??? Because they are trapped in a prison of their own feelings and no one can live like that

You would think - hope - that someone in their seventies would have learned by now that airing one's dirty laundry in public never pays off in the long term.