Supporting child academically at home

[firemansammy]

How can you do this? Obviously in later years, a tutor would help.

My 4 year old ( starts school in September ), seems behind in some areas.

In numbers, writing for example. A recent report said.

I do try to do stuff at home with her. But I'm just not quite sure how to do it effectively.

We have a lot of preschool books for writing, we sometimes practice phonics. We read together etc. how else can I help ?

You can't help but think that the parents must do a lot at home with kids who are very smart at this age ? Maybe I'm not doing enough ?

I was just focusing on having fun with her and then occasionally we do some writing in her books or we practice phonic sounds, which she enjoys. We by no means do this every day. She doesn't get home until after 4 pm during the week, so I don't do much with her then. I usually do a bit of writing and phonics with her at the weekend, but loads.

But looking at the other kids, I now think it's my fault and other parents are doing this kind of stuff more with their kids.

They are 4. Yabu

When you say 'a recent report' - report from who? She's not started school yet?

Nursery report.

YABU, she is 4 years old. She will spend 14 years in education, everyone learns at different rates. And, just because one parent says their darling can read the financial times at 3 whilst roller skating around the kitchen, doesn’t mean it’s true.

Just play and have fun, don't think about academic achievements yet! Goodness me. If you start too soon you might put her off entirely. Sure you can just count things in real life like "can you get me three carrots" and then just read lots of fun books, sing nursery rhymes, do arts and crafts. Don't do any phonics, the school will want to teach it in their way from scratch (ex teacher here).

Dont panic 🙂 if you want to do more in the run up, fine out what reading/phonics they use (my son's use read write inc). For writing, one of things to remember is they need to build the muscles to hold the pen to write. Lots of games where they're practicing their fine motor skills will help.

Once your child joins school their learning will come on leaps and bounds, so don't panic about where they're up to now 🙂

They've already started phonics and I am following what they're doing. We had a workshop about it already.

She’s 4.

focus on making sure she can get changed and go to the toilet independently. That she can use a knife and fork. If she can recognise her name that’s a bonus!

Ignore whatever report you have and carry on doing what your instincts were .
Enjoy her company and have fun with her, a secure emotional balance trumps all .
Shes 4 !! Forget academic stuff for now that’s what the schools are for , read with her and make funny voices telling the tales snd stories and bond that way with her , give her a love of books that way , laugh with her , bake etc

Don’t forget to enjoy yourself too 🥰
This is a fun age .

I did nothing but fun things with mine that age , now she’s studying law !

PS remember other parents exaggerate about their kids !!

Are you in the UK? This is mumsnet so someone along the way will say of course you are negligent and their child was reading and writing without being prompted age 4. My own kids though weren't. At that age they could hold a pencil, draw some recognisable shapes and all we did was work on the correct grip and pencil control. They started school aged 5 and learnt to form letters and numbers there. Maybe a teacher will be along to clarify but I always thought this was an area where it's better for teachers to take the lead as it's harder to undo 'bad' habits?

Development isn't linear. Dont compare where your daughter is at with other children, it really won't help.

The best thing you can do for pre schoolers is chat, sing, read, play and have fun.

It also depends on what your home life is like. A great example is a family I know where the mum and dad are fairly serious climbers. The kids can climb like nobody's business. My kids can't climb anything like theirs. But that's because they go climbing regularly, they encourage climbing, their free time is spent climbing. So naturally, their children are better climbers due to the exposure. It's also their fun.

Likewise with a fairly musical family I know. So many instruments in their home. I have a tambourine somewhere. Guess whose kids are musical...

So in the absence of a niche hobby, just keep having fun, doing what you like to do, talking and reading.

You sound like a lovely mum..but don't worry. That report is just an overview. Just do any homework from school and then if you have concerns ask the teacher what she wants you to support with. Best not to try to teach her too much yourself as invariably you will be doing it different to school and just confuse her. Just play games. The orchard board games are good.

I wouldn't worry about it this early, just make sure you read to her daily and play games that involve numbers (e.g how many red cars will we see etc). Play is so much more important at such a young age.
It's actually sometimes better not to do too much with phonics in advance as they will follow a scheme in school and sometimes the sounds can inadvertently be taught incorrectly, which is harder to undo (for example 'm' making an 'mm' sound not a 'muh' sound.)

Fiveminutemum on instagram is amazing for this! She used to be a teaching assistant and she gives you loads of ideas that only take 5 minutes. They're all play based but incorporate numbers and letters. My kids loved doing them.

Things that you can do:

• keep reading to her. Talk to her about what you’re reading.
• use numbers as part of your conversation (“I need three plates for the table - will you get them for me please? How many times can you jump on the spot? Six, seven or eight?”)
• play Orchard Toys games like Spotty Dogs or BusStop or… whatever appeals
• get her involved in manual tasks to strengthen her hands and arms. Maybe baking, doing play doh, drawing big chalk shapes on the ground.

i wouldn’t fret about phonics - that is schools job.

Food and languages in our home I guess. I'm trilingual.

But our family language is English. Which makes it tricky. But I do a lot of language ' lessons '.

DD is not bilingual but she's got a fair amount of knowledge of two other languages and it's something I really want her to learn / focus on etc. so language school is a must for them etc.

Don't get too stressed by this and don't push what DC isn't interested in.

Board/dice games are really good for early numbers and subitising (no, I didn't know that word until DC in Reception).

There’s a lot of variation among 4 year olds. Some will turn up to school with no idea what a book is and how to hold one and turn the pages in the right order. Some will be reading fluently already. Those are the extremes. You have introduced books and numbers and how to hold a pencil and draw deliberate lines and write letters and numbers. That’s great. That’s what she needs to not be playing catch up in reception.
I don’t think she needs more formal reading and math instruction from you. Keep up the fun stuff that is actually maths and reading disguised. So card games with counting and adding, lego or duplo is great for maths skills. Numberblocks tv show is amazing if she has some screentime. Also integrate maths into everyday stuff. Ask her to fetch 6 potatoes from the bag. Get her to divide the sweets/crackers/crisps into 2 or 3 even piles to share. Keep up reading her stories every day. 20 minutes reading time before sleep with pay huge dividends over her time in primary school. It will morph into what she needs as time goes on - that could involve her doing the reading or some of the reading or just the books getting more sophisticated. Beyond being an opportunity for her to learn to read, that 20 minutes reading time is a chance to introduce vast quantities of varied vocabulary and sentence structures.
Who’s told you she’s behind? And what did they actually say? Sometimes kids have a superficial understanding of something like numbers but when you scratch the surface they’ve not yet mastered something crucial. Like they can count but can’t link the number names and their written symbols or small quantities of real things (eg. Three eggs in a nest, four wheels on a car)

I bloody hate the culture in this country that causes parents to think like this

We had a workshop on how to help and the nursery send us videos every week about the sounds they're learning so we don't do it wrong, thankfully.

You don't have to do anything heavy, but do talk all the time to your child.

With numbers, buy games that involve counting and play them a lot. Point out numbers, prices, speeds, weights, time all the time. Do lots of number things - get her involved in baking, ask her to go and 'get three plates, no sorry four plates' to get her counting all the time, ask her to spot bus numbers etc. Play silly number games when out - if it is the 17th March then find a number 17 somewhere.

For reading just read to her for at least half an hour each day and talk about books/words all the time. Plus verbalise all the reading you do.

The easiest way to help is switching off screens as it liberates time and brain space for more beneficial activities.

I mean it's great that they've provided these so it isn't wrong, however this seems way ott for a nursery. Why are they focusing so much on phonics before school?

All children develop differently and you don't have to do lots of specifically academic things to support a child's academic development.

Talking to them, using a wide vocabulary, bringing numbers up in daily life, including children in your own interests and hobbies are all good things to do. Having a range of craft and play opportunities to help motor skill development is also good, for example Play Doh.

Hi, I agree with the majority of posters here, but would like to add some advice about how you can be proactive.

1. If you want to accelerate your child’s reading ability, I recommend this https://www.amazon.com/Teach-Your-Child-Read-Lessons/dp/0671631985?nodl=1&dplnkId=4f202d07-c3ef-4729-a5b6-c34b20256279
2. One of the best things you can do to promote cognitive development, in addition to play, love and care is to give your child interesting knowledge about the world. Child-friendly books about trees, birds, kings and queens etc. These are the books where you do the reading (phonics books from school are for them to practise reading to you). Children who do well in school tend to be the ones with a good base of general knowledge.
3. Bedtime routines and Plenty of sleep. Seems obvious, but lack of sleep and bad habits re ipad use imo significantly impact a child’s ability to behave and concentrate in school
4. Keep up the communication with the school. Teachers rarely hear the words ‘how can I help my child at home’.