Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Made a fool of myself, do I need to move abroad?

6 replies

Hannahconda · 16/03/2024 22:33

On a serious note.. I was very close friends with a guy, as in spoke every day, hung out for hours alone, just really vibed well. The problem was I had a huge crush on him, I knew he didn't want anything more.
I tried to just be close friends, but it wasn't easy. Generally if I'm really good friends with a guy, it's not someone I'm attracted to.
At the time, I felt it best to distance myself for a bit to get over the crush. This is fine, the worst thing was that I told him.
At the time, my reasoning in my mind was that I'm not someone who just goes cold and distant. If we were just very casual acquaintances I doubt he'd have even noticed, but we were talking all the time.
I wish I hadn't said anything and just gone off the radar for however long it took.
He understood, but I'm cringing with embarrassment. I don't know what I was thinking at the time, I let my emotions get the better of me.
It's been a good few weeks since. At first, he understandably seemed very awkward, however now he just acts like nothing happened.
We don't talk like before, I'm not sure it'll go back to that, but we're still friendly which is great, though it's much more distant.
Anyway, I wish I could've just put the crush to one side as part of me feels like I just made things awkward with a good mate.
Next time, I'll say absolutely nothing. I feel so stupid and pathetic.

OP posts:
Hannahconda · 16/03/2024 22:36

I made him feel awkward I guess. Tbh, if I'd just suddenly been "busy" for a while he'd have known something was up. I appreciated the friendship, and wish I hadn't developed any feelings, it sucks tbh.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 16/03/2024 22:55

There's really no good option in situations like this. You took a chance that he might be open to a relationship and it didn't work out.

I'm sorry, but we've all been there, and all you can do is move on.

Hannahconda · 16/03/2024 23:09

MissConductUS · 16/03/2024 22:55

There's really no good option in situations like this. You took a chance that he might be open to a relationship and it didn't work out.

I'm sorry, but we've all been there, and all you can do is move on.

Thank you for understanding. Indeed, it's a shame.. I wish I hadn't had any feelings.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 16/03/2024 23:26

Hannahconda · 16/03/2024 23:09

Thank you for understanding. Indeed, it's a shame.. I wish I hadn't had any feelings.

You're welcome. Sometimes the heart wants what it wants.

I'll bet the crush is gone now, right? Putting it out there lets you shut it down, and now you're open to meeting someone else. You're not "stuck" anymore.

MrsO3 · 16/03/2024 23:44

Ahh OP don’t be embarrassed! (Easy for me to say, I know.) I think you were brave by being honest. It was your only option by the sounds of it as, like you say, you wouldn’t have been able to be suddenly out of touch when the two of you had constant contact, he would have known something was up. You put it out there and sadly it’s changed things. But, now you know rather than going on wondering.

SkaneTos · 16/03/2024 23:49

I think you are both handling the situation as well as you can.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page