To be angry at the comments DD is getting?

[PaperDoIIs]

DD is y7 and only 12! She has some good (female)friends with whom she sometimes holds hands or links arms with. She's told me she had comments from random (adult)people before, not nasty but definitely implying a relationship with the other girl rather than just friendship. She also mentioned she's getting comments and questions at school about being a "lez".

One of the girls won't do it anymore as she is too embarrassed. DD finds it upsetting, but not enough to stop.

Any suggestions with how to support her through this would be greatly appreciated. We had the chats about people minding their own business, she's not doing anything wrong, they're weird for caring or drawing conclusions, even if she was it's nothing to be ashamed of and no one's business etc.

AIBU to be angry that a nice,sweet friendship between pre teens ffs is viewed through a reductive and ultimately sexualised lens? They're just holding hands or linking arms!

I work in a secondary school.

Lots walk round holding hands from Y7 up to Y11, and sometimes even the 6th form girls. It's quite a normal friend thing to do! I only see girls doing this though. Not boys. They prefer shoving each other!

Lots walk round holding hands from Y7 up to Y11, and sometimes even the 6th form girls. It's quite a normal friend thing to do! I only see girls doing this though. Not boys. They prefer shoving each other!

This is more my experience. I didn't realise so many posters would view it as unusual or "must be a relationship " thing.

What do you mean unprofessional? She's 12.

She’s at school - learning how to be in a professional environment, preparing for the world of work. Corridors are not places to hold hands - especially with the fact that some students are in relationships, PDA is not appropriate for a school. Plus it’s just easier to have no contact than to differentiate between hugs and play fights with rowdy boys.

Sure I won’t win here though, so I’ll just let you tell me I am being unreasonable.

Fucking hell, why can’t kids just be kids anymore? I always linked arms with friends- still do in my 50s.

Tell her to look puzzled every time someone comments.

High school is not learning how to be in a professional environment, it’s a place where kids go to learn and socialise. They are kids, not accountants!

This was a thing when I was that age. Ridiculous to use lesbianism as an insult and can't believe they're still doing it!

Tell her to report them for homophobia.

What the hell? All assumptions aside, fully grown adults should NOT be making comments based on how they do or do not perceive a CHILD'S relationship.

People can assume they are GFs as much as they like. It's the comments that are the issue here. How many complete strangers would comment on a boy and a girl (aged 12 - CHILDREN) holding hands? "You make a nice couple." That's barmy!

Have just noticed this thread is old - MN recommend it to me! 😬

How bizarre, I used to do this with my friends in his school around age 17, we all had boyfriends so nothing sexual. We more linked arms, I don't think we held hands. Odd that people would comment on it anyway!

Haha it's ok.

As an update, it all escalated into proper meanness/bullying(face to face and online). I involved the school who were brilliant and I also talked to some of the parents as I knew them from primary school. It all settled down as far as we both know. Yes they still hold hands/link arms and the group got bigger, there's about 4/5 of them now. All still purely platonic.