My friend asked me to help her with a project. It’s something I do in my line of work so I was happy to help and I was excited to see the end result. The design was all hers.
The project has to be completed in three very specific stages; she wanted me to help with the second and third stages, but she was asking me for my thoughts and opinions before she started the first stage which I happily supported her with.
She wanted the project completed quickly for a special date, but appeared to keep putting it off. Eventually, she said she had started it and along the way, she was occasionally asking for my advice and knowledge on the project.
Meanwhile, I started preparing the second stage of the project, using my own time and resources.
A few weeks in, I started to get the feeling my friend was further along in the project than she was telling me due to the questions she was asking me (such as what materials she would use if she were to start stage two, how long should stage two take and so on).
It’s her project, so I asked her if she had made a start on stage two and she said no. She continued to involve me in the collaboration of the project and it was fun. I was providing her with tips and resources to help her with stage one of her project.
A few more weeks passed by and during an email exchange, she accidentally let slip that she had almost completed stage two of the project.
When I questioned this, she brushed it off. I politely pointed out that I had spent my lunch breaks sourcing materials and my own time on the project. I explained that as there are very specific stages to the project, it’s difficult for me to gauge what I’m supposed to be doing if she isn’t open to where she is with designs and so on. Again, she brushed it off so I left it be and stopped working on my part of the project.
Two days ago, she sent me a message asking for my supplier discount code so she can get started on ordering materials for stage 3 of the project. I have yet to reply.
I’m not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, it is her project and I don’t have the right to know anything about it. However, on the other hand, I feel she’s used me for my knowledge and lied by omission by letting me continuously think she was further behind on the project than she actually was; therefore wasting my time and making me feel very foolish as I genuinely thought I was helping her.
WIBU and petty to not give her the discount code? WIBU to explain to her that I can no longer assist?