To quit my job?

[CutiePatooties]

I need some advice here, as my head’s all over the place. I’ve been waking up in the night worrying about it all.

I was recently signed off for depression and since returning, I just don’t feel my head is in the job any more and everything about work gets me down.

I’ve been thinking about quitting or going for another role (that’s half the pay). I spoke to my boss about my feelings - how I’m still depressed, not giving things 100% like I used to and how I’m thinking of stepping into the other role or leaving. My boss said the other role will only be temporary, not permanent like I am now. They have given me until Monday to give an answer on this. I said I either want to leave or step down, but after having a conversation with DH, I had to tell my boss I can’t actually do either of those things until I’ve further consulted him.

DH is not happy with me. He said I always act on impulse and shouldn’t have had this discussion until I’d spoken to him. He said I shouldn’t be making decisions until I am on antidepressants, and have the depression managed, so it isn’t skewing my thinking.

I can’t help it though - I really am finding very little enjoyment from my job. I also get very stressed from it and everything it entails. I have 2 very young children and I have bpd, with a referral for an assessment for adhd and autism. So when I tell him how hard it is to do a pressurised job, you’d think he’d understand why.

My friend is the same - told me to wait until I get antidepressants and stabilise, before I make a decision. The problem is, I only have until Monday to decide. He said that the money I’m on is good so unless I’m side-stepping or moving up in pay then I should stay in the job I’m in.

I feel wrong for even suggesting it, yet at the same time I can’t help how I feel.

AIBU?

Hello, @CutiePatooties . Waiting until your antidepressants kick-in is good in a way, yet that might take some weeks, during which time you may well still feel the way you do now.
It is worth asking your boss how temporary the other post is, whether or not it might be extended, would the experience give you new skills that you could use in the future in the same company or a different place?
It may well be that altho' temporary, being in a less stressful role will give you some mind-space to help clarify your thoughts
Yes, you should talk it through with DH because financially it may affect things both long and short-term, but don't let yourself be forced into a decision that will keep you unhappy. Also ask your boss for some further info; don't be rushed into a decision by him/her.
Best wishes, I hope you are able to come to a good decision for your MH and life

@VestibuleVirgin thank you so much for your advice. Lots to think about and I don’t think I’ll have a decision made by Monday.

No, you absolutely need time to weigh up the pros and cons, what impact it will make on family life/finances etc.
You can only do that will all the relevant info, which you boss needs to give you.
Try not to be shunted into anything!
And have a large glass of something tonight!

And have a large glass of something tonight!
Not good advice OP.

Been where you are and I did change jobs (stepped 'down')and it was the best thing I ever did. My mh was awful and I was hospitalised but now it is better than it has ever been.

Don't be pressured by anyone but also don't overthink it - if it feels like it's the right thing then it IS the right thing.

What’s the relevance of Monday? Is that the deadline for applications for the temp role? Or are you being hurried into making a choice?

@PastorCarrBonarra Hurried into making a choice.

The role isn’t advertised or anything. I almost feel it’s been made up for me (possibly as a way of moving me from perm to temp so they can get rid easily as they know about my bpd and adhd/autism referral).

I know nothing of employment law (the Work board is the place where the HR experts help out) but if you suspect that they’re planning to get rid of you by stealth because of your diagnoses, is it worth asking for a settlement agreement? You leave with a lump sum and they don’t get sued for discrimination. Perhaps talk to ACAS.