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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lending a car- who is right?

61 replies

Applescruffle · 15/03/2024 21:52

Who is right in this scenario?

A has an automatic only driving licence and an automatic car. She is a single mother with an autistic son. A decides to emigrate to Australia. On leaving she sells the car to a friend of her mum's.
Two years and 4 months later, the mum's friend puts the car up for sale as he is getting on a bit and can no longer handle it. He's disabled, and getting a bit forgetful and confused. A's sister (B) decides to buy the car as she's been offered a good price for it and it's a good family car. B is married with two young kids. B has just passed her test and has a full license. Her husband also drives but only has a van with three seats.

A comes back from Australia 5 months after the sale to visit her family and will be here for a month. A is very upset to learn the family friend no longer has the car and it now belongs to B. Apparently A had an agreement that when she came back to visit, she could borrow the car and she was relying on it. She now has no car to use while she is there and can't afford to hire one, and it's harder to find automatic cars and more expensive. She demands that B lend her the car for the duration of her stay. B says no. It's her car and she needs it and relies on it for school runs and work. She was not aware of nor did she enter into any agreement with A.
A cannot believe she is being left stranded and that her family would do this to her.

Who is right - morally.

YABU - A

YANBU - B

OP posts:
JigglySmithers · 15/03/2024 21:53

All this A and B shit is so confusing and unnecessary.

DrFoxtrot · 15/03/2024 22:00

YANBU - it is B's car now.

I agree with finding A and B scenarios difficult - it's easier for me if they're given names like Anna and Barbara. I can picture them then 😆

UpsideLeft · 15/03/2024 22:01

It was a ridiculous arrangement

The car belongs to the current owner and that's that

Hecatoncheires · 15/03/2024 22:02

B is right. A has a cheek - tough shit for A.

cherish123 · 15/03/2024 22:03

B's car.
A needs to hire one or use public transport.

LoveSkaMusic · 15/03/2024 22:03

B is right. The deal that A made with her mum's friend has absolutely nothing to do with B.

A didn't own the car so her mum's friend was well within her rights to sell it.

A is being unreasonable. She has zero claim to the car.

What A should have done was to either lend it to someone or pay to store it.

IgnoranceNotOk · 15/03/2024 22:03

The mum’s friend could have sold to anyone and if he had then A wouldn’t be chasing them for the car.
A is going to have to make do with public transport and realise she chose to move away.

MulledWhiney · 15/03/2024 22:04

What would A do if the friend had sold it to a stranger?

Would she demand the stranger let her borrow it? Probably not.

The car had legally changed hands twice in over two years, A has no claim to this particular car.

It is understandable to be upset that she cannot borrow her sister’s car, but it if B needs it then she needs it and it’s her car. A should have checked further in advance that the car was available to use, and when she found it wasn’t, make alternative arrangements.

Hecatoncheires · 15/03/2024 22:04

I’m puzzled that A would have expected the car to forever remain with the person she sold it to - and be able to borrow it 3 years later? Bonkers!

UpsideLeft · 15/03/2024 22:05

A is deluded and slightly unhinged

ZipZapZoom · 15/03/2024 22:06

A sold the car when she left so is 100% in the wrong.

The friend could have just as easily sold it to a stranger and then what would she have done?

Createausername1970 · 15/03/2024 22:07

Even if B said A could borrow it, would A be insured on B's insurance or would she have to provide her own?

Citrusandginger · 15/03/2024 22:08

A is crazy. If she can afford to visit from Aus it's her responsibility to get around not another car owners.

Herdinggoats · 15/03/2024 22:08

Did A sell it at market rate or give a significant reduction on the basis that they would be able to borrow it in the future?

moonfacer · 15/03/2024 22:13

OP, you are obviously B. No need for this subterfuge.

Allywill · 15/03/2024 22:20

A can afford a month long holiday travelling from Australia but can’t afford to hire a car? A mini or economy sized automatic can be hired for less than £20 a day.

GinForBreakfast · 15/03/2024 22:22

A is a loon.

Original poster
Applescruffle · 15/03/2024 22:26

moonfacer · 15/03/2024 22:13

OP, you are obviously B. No need for this subterfuge.

I'm genuinely not.

But "subterfuge" is an amazing word. Thank you very much for this

OP posts:
EeesandWhizz · 15/03/2024 22:29

Alice and Brenda.

Far easier.

CatamaranViper · 15/03/2024 22:51

So she came back without even speaking to the person she sold the car to, to check and see if she could borrow it? What if he did have it but needed it for medical appointments at the time? Or if he was relying on it to visit some friends/family/go on a trip? He has to cancel his plans because Lady Muck comes back for Aus?

Nah, fuck A. Way too entitled.

You know what would have been better? If A asked B nicely to borrow the car on the odd day while she was back

determinedtomakethiswork · 15/03/2024 23:09

You can't emigrate and then expect to use the same car when you come back!

The person who went to Australia, whatever letter she was, is completely in the wrong.

Stupidliefromfriend · 15/03/2024 23:09

How ridiculous of A. I'm sceptical that arrangement was ever in place.

Original poster
Applescruffle · 15/03/2024 23:17

Stupidliefromfriend · 15/03/2024 23:09

How ridiculous of A. I'm sceptical that arrangement was ever in place.

The mum of both sisters has confirmed that there was an arrangement.

Old boy himself does not remember.

OP posts:
CatamaranViper · 16/03/2024 12:18

Applescruffle · 15/03/2024 23:17

The mum of both sisters has confirmed that there was an arrangement.

Old boy himself does not remember.

Show quote history

But how was that arrangement meant to work?
"Old boy" was just to drop everything when A is around? What notice was she supposed to give him?

issabel · 16/03/2024 12:21

A needs to use public transport or taxis or suck up the cost of car hire like any other person visiting from another country would.