To not tell Dd about death of past friend’s father?

[Queijo]

Found out yesterday that DD’s old nursery friend’s dad passed away last year. It was quite a traumatic death, so definitely don’t want to mention any of that to Dd.

She hasn’t seen friend since last spring, both busy families, live apart from each other and whilst they were close and Dd was close to family, it was easy for life to get in the way and obviously when he died they had much more important things to think about.

Dd is 7, and I can’t see any good from telling her about it. A friend has said I’m being outrageous to not tell her, that I’m not adequately preparing her for life if I hide things like this from her so I’m second guessing myself!

Your friend is mad, I def wouldn't tell her, what would it achieve?

How ridiculous. Child hasn't seen the other child in nearly a year.

I wouldn't specifically mention it at all.

I think sometimes telling a child about this, which is quite removed from her, is a good way to introduce the idea of death and people dying. You don’t have to tell her all the details!

Friend and family have also moved abroad since last year, back to their family so no chance of Dd bumping into them.

Thank you, I honestly thought I was going mad thinking not telling her was the best idea.

You know your child best. I think I would be inclined to mention it but not make a big deal of it. Especially if they're ever likely to meet up again. I think these things are better handled at a time when she can ask questions and the fact that it's not a family you see day to day might actually make it easier for her to process. She's old enough to understand what death is.

I wouldn't tell her. What's she then going to do with the information?

There's plenty of time for children to learn about death.

If there’s no chance of crossing paths with the friends again then there’s no point. YANBU