AIBU to ask when/how you started to (slowly) remove your baby's sleep associations (rocking, bouncing, pram, car etc)?

[user666555]

Hello,

FTM (so please be kind) with 15 week old. Think we're in the very beginnings of the four month sleep regression and I've been doing a lot of researching on how best to approach the sleep regression and navigate through it.

One thing that keeps coming up is to start to minimise sleep associations as the sleep regression is a big turning point for baby's sleep. Apparently any associations that form/continue during and after this period will be harder to break and will be expected. Although I love my baby, I cannot physically continue to keep rocking her/pushing the pram to put her to sleep each time she wakes up for a feed (she wakes up around 4-ish times). She has CMPA and initially the pram/rocking was used to help ease her pains and allow her to sleep, but this is slowly becoming a habit to the point where she's starting to cry when put down as she wants to sleep whilst being pushed in the pram or rocked.

I'm so sleep deprived, the newborn stage was also tough due to her CMPA so now that, that issue is sorted, I'd like to gently start removing sleep associations and help her to not need them as much. I don't expect her to sleep through the night at her age, but I do want to stop having to push the pram for 40 minutes after multiple night feeds to get her to fall asleep.

So my question is how and when did you start removing sleep associations gently?

Thanks

I wouldn't be changing anything pre a regression, it will help you if you look on it as a progression.. It might not even happen, I've had experience of it happening and not happening at all.. But they do say once it's over child will just revert back to how they used to sleep before which was true in my case.. I'd only be changing things when nothing else is changing or it's too much on them..

Anyone?

@Rowen32 thank you for your response. So should I try and break the sleep associations after the regression? Won't they then become a bit more 'concrete' and be harder to break? X

I’ve never tried to break it, my eldest is 2 now and on the rare occasion he’s tired in the day he asks for his pram to sleep in. He sleeps perfectly through night and has done since few months old.

Why do you need to remove the sleep associations at all? If you have something that helps your baby get to sleep then don’t take it away. What I have done is add a new sleep association to the one they already had. I fed my baby to sleep but I stated patting her too, so if feeding to sleep stopped working I could pay her to sleep instead. This did work.

Do you go to sleep without any sleep associations? Of course not. Everyone has a bedtime routine and things that help them sleep. Some of the advice on baby sleep is very unrealistic. My first baby was a terrible sleeper I thought I was doing something wrong. My second is generally an ok sleeper ( not last night though she was sick everywhere). Some babies need more support.

Rocking the baby for 40 minutes is very tough on you. Can you try different sleep associations that would be less stressful. Add in something like white noise and see if it makes a difference.

You need to make a new sleep association that still comforts her so that you have more options in getting her to sleep.

Do you co-sleep or is she in a cot? If so, is it a beside-me cot?

I agree with adding more in rather than taking any away. Any sleep associations you can add in that let you get more sleep. My DD's breastfed to sleep into their toddler years so I added in music and then gradually moved it to just the music, which they still listen to now they're older. Ours slept in the pram or sling in the day but always needed movement or they'd wake up.

Or are you leaving her to sleep in the pram?

I'm in the camp of do what ever gets everyone the most sleep. Mine gradually grew out of rocking etc but in my opinion it's not worth worrying about unless it's not working for you or the baby.

@user666555

You might find the little ones app helpful it shows how you can move from rocking to sleep to independently falling asleep and back to sleep if that is what you want.

My son's association was feeding to sleep and we worked on that from 6 months after an awful time with the regression and got him self-settling fairly quickly so will try earlier next time (have an 8 week old) as made a huge improvement to his sleep.

I wouldn’t at all. She’ll grow out of them.

The whole “remove all sleep crutches” thing is just a way for sleep consultants to sell more stuff.

I would do whatever works for you and baby.

Buy a rock it. They're around £45 and it jiggles the buggy for you

I didn't reduce anything. It naturally reduced as my child got older. I was still cuddling my kids to sleep when they where 5. They outgrew this within the next year but still wanted me to read stories at bedtime and have a cuddle. This time goes so fast and your baby is only 15 weeks. Don't rush it.

the 4 month sleep regression didn’t exist when my kids were young.

Firmly convinced it’s been invented by sleep consultants

Thanks everyone.

She sleeps in a Next2Me crib. If I use the pram to rock her, I'll take her out of the pram 10 minutes into her sleep and put her in the crib. Likewise, if I rock her, 5-10 minutes into being rocked I'll put her in the crib.

I don't mind her having a sleep associations. Just not rocking as it is physically demanding and as she gets heavier it'll only get harder. She already uses white noise and red light too. I don't mind her using the white noise and red light but ideally would like to stop the pram/rocking

At 4.5 months, we started doing a bedtime routine, then laying our baby in the Next2Me. One of us would lie on the bed next to her and shush and pat her to sleep. The first few times it took 20 mins of crying until she fell asleep, but it did improve quickly, until she would either fall asleep immediately or it just took a few mins.

We were convinced it wouldn't work before we tried it the first time, but it was amazing how quickly she got used to it. We were also rocking to sleep up until 4 5 months.

Good luck! X

Also, make sure the first time you do this it's at bedtime, not nap time, as you want as much sleep pressure as possible.

I'm watching this thread with anticipation with my almost 1 year old who still likes to cuddle to sleep. 😬

Oh, full disclosure- my baby is now 15 months old and is now cuddled to sleep- has been from about 13 months, when she decided she didn't want to go to sleep by herself any more! Much better than rocking, though!

To me the "regression" if it happens is just a developmental change like teething, learning a new skill, their sleep is disrupted but then it goes back to normal..everything you're doing is cemented in to an extent so whatever you want to drop I would be doing when she's in a happy, settled phase :-)
My first experience of it was waking every 45 minutes for two weeks, I fed to sleep to stay sane, then it was sleeping through the night again as it had been before..
My second experience of it was nothing, it didn't happen at all
I do agree with a pp it's definitely half made up..