to think that MIL/FIL should be interested in their grandchildren?

[mum2sons]

My DS3 is 2months old now and they have seen him once at a few days old. DS2 who is 3 does not know who they are. DS1 who used to have a relationship with them, doesn't anymore. They live 20 minutes down the road from us yet live in SILs pocket lavishing love and gifts on her 3 DCs who all adore their grandparents . I think I know the answers but feel v hurt especially for DH who is thick skinned but obviously having to put up with total favouritsm. Basically MIL doesn't like me (never did find out the reason) but with that has cut off my lovely DH and DCs into the bargain. For a bit of history, I did a thread when I was 34 weeks pregnant in the AIBU section but dont know how to link to it! Be gentle with me, am feeling postnatal today!

CAn sympathise. You are not alone in this situation - unfortunayely cannot give any advice but sending big hugs your way. It is unfair on you and your children. There's no easy answer I'm afraid.

I also send my sympathy, have a similar situation with my in-laws in which they lavished attention on DH's brother's kids, and couldn't give a monkeys about our son. Very upsetting and DH is hurt, but what can you do? They moved out of the country when DS was a couple of months old and have seen him a handful of times since. Still, we've got four days holiday in June with them at their apartment. In Benidorm. It will be my only holiday. Oh god.

I sympathise, my kids don't really know my mil and her husband very well, she has only just started to show any interest in them now they are 11 and 8 and even then it's when she wants to show what a caring grandparent she is.

She took them shopping for christmas, dd was told that she had to help Nannie keep an eye on her brother cos we had visions of ds getting bored and wandering off

We have just decided that there is nothing that we can do to change them so it is them that are missing out on a relationship with the children

YANBU of course and I sympathise. I guess you and your DH have to keep on making a bit of an effort with them whenever you can face it, and ignore the fact that they are closer to your SIL.

We had the same thing with my dad's mum who was happy to look after my cousins but we were always too much for her. My cousins now have moved away and she doesn't get to see them very often and me and my brother have the great gradnchildren. Although we see her every now and then it isn't the same relationship and she is missing out on great-grandchildren as well. I know this doesn't help much but it is your MIL's loss so try not to let it hurt you.

You have my sympathy. My MIL blatantly favours my SIL over my DH as well. SIL doesn't have children or a job (and has never once babysat for us), just potters about at home all day living off her mother's pension. It's really annoying to be on the edge of this type of situation.

The old saying "Your son's your son till he finds him a wife, but your daughter's your daughter all your life" springs to mind here!

The grandparents of my son (his dads parent, not mine) didnt see him at all for a year, apart from once. His grandad saw ds by accident when he was 4 months old, only becasue he happened to be at somebodies house that ds had been taken to visit. And his grandmother saw ds for the first time when he was 9 months old (his grandad didnt bother coming) and she only came because I ASKED her when they were going to bother with ds!
They made me so angry, and now havnt bothered with ds(3 yrs) for about 2 years.