To ask for advice for my oversensitive DD?

[MindatWork]

I’ve just got back from school drop off and my 5 yo DD had a meltdown because her friend showed her some pictures she had drawn at home the previous night and had proudly brought them in to show to the teacher.

My DD’s reaction was to get upset and cry because she didn’t have a picture, didn’t want to do one in class because it wouldn’t be the same etc, then worked herself up to the point where she didn’t want to go into school.

We have lots of incidents like this and I’m really struggling with it - I could understand her being jealous over a cool new toy but the constant upset over such minor things are really getting me down. She is quite co-dependent with this particular friend, they love each other but are constantly bickering over ‘she made a face at me’, ‘she told me not to do xyz etc’.

We had tears at a birthday party a while ago because she didn’t understand how one of the party games worked. She is very sensitive in general and quick to tears, runs out of the room if she spills a bit of water (despite us never yelling or giving her a big telling off for it).

We praise her loads and she is very loved/lots of cuddles etc, so I can’t understand where this weird, seemingly low self esteem is coming from.

Any advice from parents of sensitive children would be welcomed as I really want to find the best way to help her. I try and be loving and supportive but ended up telling her to stop being ridiculous this morning which made it 100 times worse. Now I just feel horrible 😫

The Tom Percival Big Bright Feelings books are good for that age.

I've seen lots of children like this and most of them just grow out of it. At age 5 I wouldn't even worry about it tbh.

My DS1 was a highly sensitive child ..and also not good at losing, which made life difficult. Added to that his sister..a year older, delighted in prodding the bear, despite our best efforts to stop her.. he reacted to everything so quickly that it only took a word or a sideways glance to have him in tears (or a rage)

However.. he did toughen up a bit, and if there was no real reason for him to be in tears, we were matter of fact, kind but pragmatic about it, he did need to build resilience.
He's now a kind, caring man, a lovely supportive husband as as far as I'm aware he doesn't burst into tears every five minutes

He's also very close to his sister!! Some kids just do take a bit longer to cope with life!

The immediate concerns... Are literally every example you've posted, op. I would look at that now as it'll be easier for her rather than a lifetime thinking she's 'oversensitive' and trying to heal that in her adult life. You don't have anything to lose and everything to gain, for her