Accused of Assault

[SadMumSEN]

Posted in relevant section but here for traffic so removed poll.

I have been a foster carer for a number of years and it’s always been a possibility that I would get accused of something like this. We’ve had the training, we record everything.
However, it’s my actual birth daughter who has accused me of assaulting her. She disclosed it in college, had SW interview her, then they came to see me.
I’m horrified that she has said what she’s said. I don’t know where it’s come from.
With FChildren we always look for the narrative and consider motive & background, influence, etc, and all the things we don’t know about in their life, but I know my own DD and I don’t understand it at all. She told me she doesn’t know why she said it, and acknowledges that she lied (no real history of lying). She has moderate learning disabilities but knows right from wrong. But it’s out there now and I don’t know how to move on from this.

Has anyone been through this with a FC or their own child ? If so, did you get over it ?

Would is possibly be jealousy? My nanna and grandad had my mum and her 5 siblings plus fostered (back then it wasn't unusual to have 14 kids in the house) however I do know that all 6 of them resented having to share mum and dad, the Foster kids came with their own money and allowances and freedoms that my mum and siblings were not allowed. She felt that they were always second best as adults all of them have had diagnosed neurodiverse children and would each probably have their own diagnosis as definite traits in themselves. A couple of my mums sisters were also sexually assaulted by some of the Foster kids none of this came out until adulthood.

Oh my word how awful.
Jealousy would have been my thoughts too, but we don’t do it full time, just short term and she is always very keen for them to come. She has her own money and I prioritise her in my life. I feel it’s put a sledgehammer right through our relationship and I don’t know how to move forward.

Has she seen the fuss and attention the F kids have had in the past when they’ve been experiencing issues/trauma etc? Does she want to be noticed?

She does to an extent witness the fuss & drama that inevitably comes with certain placements. She also witnesses violence and abuse in college as some of her fellow students have extremely high needs. I appreciate these things must affect her although she never really talks about them.

I think she must have got it from the foster kids. Either them telling her stuff or observing them. The jealousy thing and also almost curiosity. Like she was seeing if she would be believed and if she could potentially be in their position?
If she's admitted to lying that's good. You must explain that people who lie can put those who are really being abused in a worse position as they may not be believed. And that it's an offence to tell lies to the police etc. Let's hope she realises it was wrong and won't do it again.