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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

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8 replies

FacingDivorceButSad · 13/03/2024 23:05

This isn't an AIBU but I need advice and the separation board is so quiet I don't think I will get it there.

I've split from my cheating husband but I think I am financially screwed. I have 1 child. We brought a property on a fixed mortgage rate that needed some work done. We took out a loan a few years in to undertake some of the major work. I cannot afford to stay here alone or buy him out. By the time early mortgage repayments and loan payments are done km probably looking at 20-30k equity for me. My wages are about £1800 per month. I would be entitled to Universal Credit but I am really panicking.

I think rented will be my best option as buying wise I won't get much for my money at all and it would likely be shared ownership which I doubt I would qualify for as I would need the UC for rent but no mortgage company will take into account what I would likely get from UC so I doubt I would get accepted. I have just been reading about affordability checks for rent and seen it needs to be 30-40% of my take home max. With child maintenance the calculator put it at £750 ish. There are no properties in the area or a 40 mile radius that I can have a child in that low! Will landlords take into account what I would get from UC based on an eligibility tracker? I am so bloody scared of how I am supposed to keep a roof over my kids head

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 13/03/2024 23:10

It depends on the LL. It all depends on who you are in competition with. My DD was rejected for nearly a year, but eventually got a LL who did take UC into consideration.

newrubylane · 13/03/2024 23:14

Some landlords are willing to ignore affordability if you can cover the initial six month (or whatever term) rental contract up front. You could use some of what you receive from the house sale for this (I did exactly this when I split from my ex a few years ago - albeit I didn't have a child to consider).

SpringSprungALeak · 14/03/2024 00:59

(((HUG)))

make yourself a hit drink & climb into bed. Midnight is for sleeping, not sorting the world out xx

i know it's hard to switch off at times like this, but you have to or you'll be no good for anything!!

xx

SpringSprungALeak · 14/03/2024 01:02

HOT drink, we'll have the 'hut' we may need it 🤭

and OMG it's 1am, not midnight.

Where there's a problem, there's a solution, we can start finding one in the morning.

It will all be ok.

NotTheKateYouAreLookingFor · 14/03/2024 01:06

SpringSprungALeak · 14/03/2024 00:59

(((HUG)))

make yourself a hit drink & climb into bed. Midnight is for sleeping, not sorting the world out xx

i know it's hard to switch off at times like this, but you have to or you'll be no good for anything!!

xx

Some of the best advice I have read on here for a long time.

Original poster
FacingDivorceButSad · 14/03/2024 07:15

Thanks but sadly a night of sleep doesn't produce a solution 😔I really can't see an answer in this. I don't know how single parent families can afford to live in this area. I have no family here anymore but my whole support network of friends and my job is here. I have no one to help me whilst ex has his whole family around, a house provided for him to use until he decides to buy his own place, earns more than I do and has more flexibility than me. Why does life have to be so bloody hard? He made the choice to cheat and now I'm feeling I will have to stay out of no choice. I don't want to be miserable anymore. He has taken my fertile years and robbed me of the 2nd child we were going to have and now it's me who is left wondering how I will be able to house my child whilst he is comfortably housed

OP posts:
HelenHywater · 14/03/2024 07:30

hi @FacingDivorceButSad I'd suggest you phone Gingerbread and get them to do a calculator for you - you'll then have the most accurate information about your entitlements. Sadly many lone parents do find that the amounts they're entitled to don't cover the rents in their location. But I think the starting point is to have accurate information about what you would get.

Original poster
FacingDivorceButSad · 14/03/2024 08:53

HelenHywater · 14/03/2024 07:30

hi @FacingDivorceButSad I'd suggest you phone Gingerbread and get them to do a calculator for you - you'll then have the most accurate information about your entitlements. Sadly many lone parents do find that the amounts they're entitled to don't cover the rents in their location. But I think the starting point is to have accurate information about what you would get.

Thanks Helen. I know my entitlement as I used to work with benefits but right now I'm not entitled to much as we have a mortgage. If I got shared ownership it would help with the rent or if I was renting it would help but the initial affordability checks don't seem to take into account what I will get just what I have now. I have to have child maintenance paid for 3 months for example before its considered but I cannot get child maintenance until the house is sold as his paying towards bills and mortgage and it wouldn't be affordable to then do maintenence on top. I know I will be OK once I have somewhere it's just the actual getting somewhere that's the issue 😔

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