Sibling abuse and forgiveness

[bannanacake]

I come from a Catholic family and as the middle child I suffered abuse from my older brother and sister when I was younger.

It started when I was 15/16 and was at the stage of dating boys, drinking, going out etc.
Just doing teenager things that my siblings did when they were my age at the time (they are 10 and 12 years older).

I was called a slag by my sister, she would laugh at my makeup and was so nasty to me.
She made my life hell, they didn't speak to me for months at one stage.

My brother was the worst.
He would hit me, and I was so scared of him.
I remember he would chase me down the street and I would often have to take refuge at friends houses.
He threw me out of the family home when I was 17 and made me homeless.

I struggled allot of because of this and lived in hostel before securing my own place when I was 19.

I tried to forgive them but I can't.
Since having my own kids I have kept my kids away as I don't want people who abused me around my kids.

My brother has been badmouthing me to family members and I text him to tell him how I felt and he is still a bully to this day in his late 40s.

It felt so good to let all the years of anger and pain out to be honest.

Am I overreacting or am I justified in banning them from being a part of mine and my kids life?

Both siblings are still bullies and nasty pieces of work.

If at this stage they are still acting out the childhood bully, you would be crazy to let them back in. It might change in the future if they miraculously see the light and apologise, but until then, you need to look after yourself. You're doing the right thing.

Just keep well away. No texting, no contact.

What did your parents do when your brother threw you out?

I think you're totally justified. It's not like they've turned things around, apologized, and are decent people now. Your brother made you homeless FFS. It wasn't even his home to kick you out of. I'm sorry they've been so awful to you.

I agree, stay away. You're not obliged to have them in your life, you've been abused by them all your life. You won't benefit from being in contact and to be honest, your kids are missing nothing by not having contact.
You don't mention your parents? Where were/are they in all this?

My parents shouted at him and tried to intervene but I was already gone.

I think my parents are maybe scared of him
as he is quite aggressive.

It sounds like you have made the right choice and need to prioritize your own wellbeing over some sense that family should stick together. They sound awful.

No way are you being unreasonable to not want these people in your life or that of your children OP. I'm horrified that your parents didn't step in when your brother threw you out of your family home, they should be ashamed of themselves, and I wouldn't want anything to do with them either.

Fuck the lot of them.

Do yourself the biggest favour of your life and go NC.

You are completely justified in keeping your children and yourself safe, away from your abusers. It took me 32 years, and a text saying that I deserved to miscarry my 2nd & 3rd children, to finally sever all ties with my abusive sibling. That was 21 years ago and I have only had (unavoidable) contact once since then and within seconds I knew I had made the right decision.