Spamming

[Flyhigher]

I'm accused of spamming by DD and sister and others.

. I hate communicating with her school for example as they just give you nothing.

I think I might be OCD , meno brain.

I have to say I hate the fact that we have to message and email and what's app now and hardly talk at all in person.

So - what counts as spamming?

Do your kids accuse you of this too?

Is it me as I'm just a bad communicator?
Be slightly kind please but honest.

How often are you texting & messaging?
No, I’ve never been accused of this.
If you have, and it’s not just your DC saying this, then it’s likely you need to rein it in a bit.

Sister lives in London. Dealing with dad's affairs.
Lots of information to go over.
Daughter tells me nothing of her life.
But demands instant responses to her stuff.
I feel very alone and bullied.
By both of them.

I don't message that often. But when I do it can be a few messages at once.

So just put it in one longer message rather than a few?

This sounds more like a issue with them being unkind than the texting if it is not that often.

When I have to text people I have more of an 'arms length' relationship with I will often start with a - 'let me know when you have a moment, have some info regarding [X]'

However, I would expect to be able to text my dd and sister without starting like that!

Maybe try and cut down, have a few interactions where you send one or 2 short messages. Would your sister prefer one phone call to several messages?

WRT your dd, I would try and cut down, keep things brief and warm the relationship up again, she's told you she doesn't like receiving multiple messages so listen to that.

Ahh. See DM does this sometimes and I end up eye rolling and thinking ‘fgs! What now?’ As I have to stop what I’m doing and answer the 3rd or 4th text. Just message asking if it’s a good time to talk and have an actual conversation or send it all in one message.

@LeWifi @Station11
I tend to think in bursts I guess.

Don't put it all in one message. Not sure why.
I think I text as I talk. In short bursts.

If I put it all in one message I leave things open for hours and I can't compose properly.

There's never a good time to ring. People's times never link in with mine.

When they are ready we are eating and vice versa.

I think I'm useless at messaging. I talked to my husband face to face. He works around me.

I've never really learned how to message effectively. I sent a lot of emails. they are one way.

We have effectively shut down phone calls.
As no one takes them anymore.

We want perfect one paragraph messages.

Maybe I'm not good at messaging.

Will try with DD. It's hard. Relationship is poor.
She barks orders at me via text.
Barely speaks. Not all her fault have to say. Some is mine.