to be narked by this?

[LaComtesse]

My dd's school has got a school trip next week to the Science Museum and I booked a day off work to be a parent-helper. I made the teacher aware of this right from the word go since I was unable to go on the previous trip to the Neasden Mandir (which had a very low parent-helper turnout) and I also indicated that I would be helping on the permission slip (paying £6.50 for the privilege of sending my child ). I have now been informed that they have a "full quota" of helpers so I can go on the tube with the other spare attenders as though I'm a random person.

It's probably unreasonable but I feel quite miffed at this, especially bearing in mind as I've booked a day off work - I asked my Mum to step into my place as a parent-helper on the last trip as I couldn't make it - but lots of parents refused to go or send their children themselves due to issues with the children going on a 'faith' trip but it transpired to be a great day out. Now most of the parents who refused to go on the last trip have rushed to sign up for this one, effectively pushing me out. Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

id tell them to stuff and go into work, instead of wasting a valuable day off

do you know why other parents have been chosen over you?

I imagine the teacher has forgotten about me volunteering - easy done when you're organising something like this but I do feel a bit annoyed about it. I feel as though the other parents who couldn't be bothered to go last time have pushed me out.

but you didnt go last time. why you didnt go or whether you asked someone else to go is irrelevant. i dont see why you should get special treatment because you wanted to go but didnt

if you have the day off work and no kids go shopping or something

It's probably due to coach places and the numbers of TAs already going etc. However, if you didn't go last time, they may think you could be unreliable and decided to go with someone they know will definitly go iyswim?

Did the school actually ask for parent helpers?

It was the first school trip I've missed in 4 years and I told the teacher at the parents evening a few weeks back that I'd be going - she knows that I work FT but pull the stops out to help out where I can. I daresay it was an oversight but it seems that the parents who refused to go - or send their children on the last trip since they didn't approve of them going to a Hindu temple - but who have now rushed to sign up, have oversubscribed the whole thing. I do feel a tad offended.

But lots of other parents may also have told the teacher at parents' evening that they wanted to go - the teacher is unlikely to have a list (even a mental one) of why parents didn't go on the last trip. And if they are getting parents volunteering who haven't before, they are probably grateful, don't want to discourage them, & may have thought it would be nice not to have to keep expecting the same people to do it all the time.

You told the teacher you'd be going? you didn't ask if they needed any help then?

Agree with nailpolish, can't see the problem, just go into work and save the days holiday.

I can just about see why you are a bit miffed, but surely it's a good thing that new parents are taking an interest and want to be involved no matter what their motivation.

TBH I think you are being a tad precious, sorry.

I told the teacher I could go after she asked me if I was able to make it. I wouldn't presume to tell any teacher I'd be doing this or that with their classes unless they'd specifically flagged up somewhere that they wanted people on board (in this case a newsletter from the yr3 teachers and being asked directly by dd's teacher). It was on that basis I'd booked the leave with work.

FWIW, the teacher knows why many parents didn't support the last trip - they objected to the trip on the grounds of faith but when they found out what an interesting day it had been, they evidently decided that they didn't want to miss out on future events. Had it not been for the stalwarts from previous outings and some severe roping-in of other adults in the school, the trip could not have run as the parent-child ratios were too big. Yes I should be pleased they're going to be fully supported this time.... but human nature isn't always that good is it?!!

I used to help out regularly in my boys' primary school, i.e. going in once a week for a whole morning. So, when they asked for parent helpers on trips out, I used to volunteer again, only to be told that they wanted to be fair to all parents so they were choosing those parents who didn't already help out. So by giving up an entire morning every week meant that I missed out on the more fun stuff, like trips to the British Museum, etc.

I did tell the teacher that I felt that those parents who gave up their time regularly should actually be given first choice for the fun stuff otherwise she might find that they wouldn't volunteer on a weekly basis so they could be considered for the fun trips. Not that it isn't fun helping out in class, but YKWIM.

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. I have been a parent helper for trips in the past, but haven't booked the day off work until the teacher has confirmed I am required.

I think some trips are obviously going to get more volunteers, I volunteered to go with dd's class to the farm on a coach as soon as the letters were sent out but didn't get chosen. DH volunteered to go to the Poppy factory on public transport and he was chosen.