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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to ask my fiancé who the women on his Facebook are

5 replies

Quickrunner91 · 12/03/2024 18:44

Before my fiancé met me, he was very flirty with women. He had, and still has , countless women all over the world who he’s never met that like his photos. I’ve just been ignoring this when I see it.

However, I’ve noticed that there are 2 women in particular who comment on his posts. They live abroad in the country my fiancé is from originally. One day, I decided to ask him who one of them is. He told me that she was just someone who sent him a message about a year ago asking him about an exam. He said they never chat these days.

He made her seem really casual, but it’s hard to believe that they never had anything deeper as she still frequently reacts to his posts. A while back my fiancé made a post about his mother. Unfortunately, she passed away 5 years ago. This woman commented ‘ God bless her. And I’ll remind you, the best thing is that you look so much like her🥰'. So it’s obvious they were more friendly than he made out- he must of sent her images of his deceased mother, which is quite personal thing in my opinion.

The other woman comments on his posts from time to time, and she is an attractive young woman. She’s from his home country. I know nothing else about her.

I want to bring this up but I don’t want to sound really insecure. My fiancé loves me and I love him and I just want him to be open. Am I being unreasonable to want to ask? Or should I let it rest?

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 12/03/2024 18:54

The girl making the comment about his mum could be a childhood friend, or teenage girlfriend, or even his cousin? The other one, who knows.
Is there any evidence of recent flirty chat between them? If not then I wouldn't say you've much to be concerned about.
Do you have any men on your socials who like your pics or sometimes post nice things?
If he's ok with you having similar seemingly innocent enough interactions then it's probably fine. It depends on your boundaries of course.

ohmygolli · 12/03/2024 18:57

Yes just ask him. I see no harm

Quickrunner91 · 12/03/2024 18:58

The girl making the comment about his mum was a girl he met 1 year ago on Facebook who he told me just asked about an exam. He didn’t tell me they even had any friendship which is why that bothered me - I just want him to be honest

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 12/03/2024 21:40

@Quickrunner91 ok..then she's that then. I guess she fancies him? If it bothers you I guess you should just ask again, is there any more to your contact? You could ask him to stop speaking to her and see what he says, but it might not get the reaction you want.

PostItInABook · 12/03/2024 21:44

If you don’t trust him, because let’s face it, you don’t, why on earth are you planning on marrying him?

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