Should I apply for child maintenance through CMS under these circumstances?

[Sash95]

I have just given birth to my beautiful daughter who is my whole world.
The father is not in the picture. After I left (due to DV) he made no contact with me. He is not listed on the birth certificate.

The father is financially very well-off (several hundred thousand in savings) and I make ends meet. I only mention this because any child maintenance contribution would make a massive difference to our lives and of course, it would only be my daughter who would benefit.

The thing is, if I apply for CM, I can almost guarantee that he would take me to court for child custody to avoid paying. If I don't apply I would probably never hear from him again!
Because of his history of DV, alcoholism and the fact he is currently under investigation at work for nearly 10 years of sexual misconduct, I do not feel it would be safe for my daughter to be with him.
Under these circumstances, should I just not bother with CM?

YABU - apply for child maintenance through CMS
YANBU -don't apply, it's not worth the risk

I'd say leave well alone if you can manage without your but feeling is right. And I wouldn't listen to the view of anyone who hasn't experienced DA.

*gut feeling!

If you can, stay away.

Dv survivor

I wouldn't apply for it in these circumstances. Having a safe peaceful life with your daughter is worth more than money can buy in my opinion.

Congratulations op!

If you press his responsibility he might suddenly decide he has rights and press those.
I'd stay well clear too.

It’s a really difficult one, as he should pay maintenance and provide for his child. But given the circumstances, I would probably not ask for anything and let him not be involved. Having stability and a secure environment and attachments is so much more valuable than money.

I’d leave well alone. Even rapists get access to their children.

In fact one of the Rotherham gang who raped a young girl - impregnated her and he was awarded contact. He also used it to appeal his removal from the country!

Dont underestimate the damage he can do to you. Things you know about him don’t matter and evidence is needed in the courts - do you have it? And don’t underestimate the cost of lawyers

I'd either leave it be or move far, far away to the other end of the country where it's not likely he'll want to travel for contact. You can move where you like until he goes on the birth certificate and then that introduces the potential for him to cause all sorts of havoc and control on you until she's old enough to advocate for herself.

He may lose his job if that's the case so overall definitely not worth all the hassle

Child maintenance is based on income not assets like savings. Based on what you’ve said, I wouldn’t be surprised if he quits work and lives off his savings to spite you.

The community midwife said he would be very unlikely to get custody, but I don't know if I should trust that. The replies confirm my gut feeling. As any parent would, all I want is for my daughter to be safe. I can barely afford food as I am having to rebuild my life again but I know that it is only going to be a short-term struggle. My worst nightmare is losing custody of my child.

@pallyloo He would likely quit his job if he didn't lose it first. He has a private pension equivalent to his income and enough savings to live very comfortably.

I believe CMS does take savings into account if interest earned is high enough.

This. Also if he's under investigation at work he's likely to lose that job and without any income he won't have to pay any cm.

It's massively unfair of course but I agree with the other posters. I would use it as leverage in the future to keep him away if needs be too.

If he lives such a chaotic life then I would be aware that should he die your child may be due to inherit from him. Grim and potentially grabby I know but something to keep in mind for the future.

I also would leave well alone . He is unlikely to get custody however very likely to get access .

You may get people say it is money for the child however the risk is far too high imo.

also DV survivor. I definitely found the early years harder financially but definitely improved with age .

second hand bundles saved me a fortune

Because of his history of DV, alcoholism and the fact he is currently under investigation at work for nearly 10 years of sexual misconduct, I do not feel it would be safe for my daughter to be with him.

It’s an obvious no - It’s not worth putting your daughter’s safety at risk for some extra money.

DV & Family Court survivor here. I would take my little one and disappear. CMS are not great, and it is highly likely that he would leave his job, deny his savings, etc, so you would have no financial support & a man who may well decide to make your life hell for the next 18yrs using Family court to gain contact or even residency as he's more 'financially stable'. Leave well alone would be my advice & congratulations on your little one.

The court's don't seem to be able to make decisions in the best interests of children, I wouldn't rock the boat.

A well-off person is able to hire a top-notch solicitor,should he decide to gain access.I personally would not chance it.

Your child's father likely wouldn't get full custody but they certainly would get every other weekend and 1 overnight stay during the week!. As others have said...

CMS is a poor system would he even pay? Is he self employed?

CMS are also notoriously awful. My ex supposedly claims benefits, due to pay £7 a week, doesn't pay, owes £18,000 in arrears, which they don't chase up. They really aren't fit for service.

So I'd avoid them in your situation xxx

He wouldn't get custody, as in your child would be given to him rather than live with you, but if through court he absolutely would get access which would build over time.
Id move far away and start fresh with your child, far enough away he wouldn't bother, another country if possible and make sure he is blocked on absolutely everything