to want to be brazen?

[bluecomputerscreen]

honestly I would love to stop overthinking things. and being more confident saying no.

or is the grass greener on the other side?

would love to attend the school of giving zero fucks

I have been in a job for a few weeks where I absolutely don't give a sharny shite, because I have a new job starting somewhere else soon. It's so very weird not to feel anxious about my performance. Nice to escape my worry head for once.

Not the answer to your question OP, but your use of the word "brazen" has just given me the answer to one of today's Guardian cryptic crossword clues so, thank you!

It's like a muscle you have to flex it so that slowly it gets stronger. You get more resilient and more self assured in your decisions the more you do it, eventually you feel less bad for saying no and then realise how much people will take the piss if you let them.

thing is, I'm outwardly confident and shit hot at my job but suffer from constant thought, what if's etc

I think it's healthy to be a little bit narcissistic sometimes. Just a smidge.

It stops people from walking all over you and it helps you to take criticism with a pinch of salt.

It's not essential to care about what everyone thinks either. Like, I wear whatever I want to and feel comfortable in. If someone else doesn't like it, as far as I'm concerned that's their problem.

Better that than be too nice.

even confident people who can say no have moments of doubt

It comes with age and experience.

At almost 40 I really couldn't give a shit about 90% of what other people think of me. I know myself and my strengths and weaknesses too well to be surprised by any comment that comes my way, and I also know that no one who judges me (as we all do) is perfect themselves.

There are a few people who count, of course. My children. My line managers at work (though, again, all I need to care about is them seeing me as competent). My close friends.

Everyone else? Nah. We all do what we can, given our circumstances.

I've always said no to anything that I don't want to do and I don't give a shit how that's received.
I live my life for me, if you don't like it, you know where the door is.
Try it op.

I give zero fucks in many respects. I’m not easily embarrassed and I don’t really care what people think of me. I definitely don’t overthink things. But I’m not brazen and I’m not particularly confident which has, I think, limited me in my career.

While some people are very self promoting I will happily take a back seat, because that’s where I’m comfortable and I’ve definitely suffered career wise as a result. The people I work with value me hugely but managers won’t see that.

Think like a white man