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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Charitable fund raising request for expensive overseas trip

11 replies

Whosmakingdinner · 12/03/2024 17:23

NC as the person in question knows I’m on here. She’s sent me a JustGiving link for a charity fund raiser she’s planning, which is an adventurous trek in an exotic location overseas. The target amount she’s aiming for is shown, but there’s nothing to explain if she’s paying her own expenses (all the money raised going to charity) or if her expenses come out of the sum raised. She isn’t a close friend and I don’t want to ask her how it’s being funded in case that makes me look really mean/nosey. However I looked up the particular trek and the amount they ask you to raise for a ‘sponsored’ trip matches her target … half the money raised pays for the trip, and half goes to the charity … so I assume that’s what she’s doing (though I am not certain). The suggested target for a ‘self funded’ trip is half of what she’s asking for.

AIBU to feel a bit reticent about supporting this ? I understand the bigger picture … presumably lots of charities raise lots more money as a result of people doing this. But on the other hand shouldn’t it be made clear that half the money you’re giving goes to fund what I would consider to be an incredible holiday if I could afford it ? There are two things about this that irk me … not providing clarity on how the expenses are funded, and also choosing a really expensive, exciting, exotic way of raising money, not dissimilar to a wonderful holiday, rather that e.g a few laps round the local park, giving up booze for a spell etc.

I’m minded to get round this by giving a donation directly to the charity and tell her I did so to avoid some of it being used by JustGiving for their fees (she will have to train to increase her fitness and I admire that, and I also like the charity). But am I missing something with these types of request … what do other people do ? Should I be happy to pay part of their expenses and be glad they’re having a hopefully wonderful experience ? Or am I just being mean minded ?

OP posts:
saraclara · 12/03/2024 17:27

If she's not paying ALL her expenses herself, I wouldn't go near it. I hate these things.

I'd ask her outright if the donations go towards her expenses.

Whosmakingdinner · 12/03/2024 18:29

Thankyou. I just spotted an interesting thread that’s trending ‘Embarrassed by partners GoFundMe’, which gives me another perspective ! I think I’ll stick to my plan and just give a donation directly.

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 12/03/2024 18:36

YANBU. I hate this too. I also
refuse to sponsor kids ( unless very young) to read books, swim or run round the playground. I do pay for them to clean my car or tidy my garden.

NCForQuestions · 12/03/2024 18:38

I don't sponsor anyone doing these sorts of things, nor marathons, nor poverty saviours, or gap year holidays. Fund it yourself if you want that trip of a lifetime.

No fucker funds my trips to, say, campsites around England, so why am I paying for them to go away?

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 12/03/2024 18:41

Agreed with the dislike. Often something the person has always wanted to do - parachute jumps seem popular for this. But then I am a grinch and even the celebrity red nose challenges make me grrrrr

coldcallerbaiter · 12/03/2024 18:41

it is a free holiday for her. No I would not give her anything.

I do not give anything to charity unless I know exactly where it is going and nobody can pressure me in to it inc. work or friend guilt collecting.

I help out real individuals in need that I come across in practical ways. I bought a laptop for my cleaners child for study, as she couldn’t afford it for example.

justjuggling · 13/03/2024 00:38

I have monthly standing orders to two charities and no longer support any others, including people wanting to cycle through Vietnam or parachute out of a plane etc. I made the decision to routinely support just two charities because I was getting so many requests to sponsor colleagues, family and friends. This way makes it easier to decline those requests.

4321PasstheParcel · 13/03/2024 00:44

Just choose to support the charities that you are interested in

Codlingmoths · 13/03/2024 00:48

Nah. I don’t donate to fund people’s dream holidays.

Astonetogo · 13/03/2024 00:53

YANBU to not want to donate, but you ate going to look like a meany if you send a separate donation rather than using her link. It’s making it pretty obvious that you don’t want to support her trip.

Better not to give at all, and if she asks directly just say that all your charitable giving is made through monthly direct debits, but she has your moral support and you hope she enjoys the trip.

Whosmakingdinner · 13/03/2024 10:40

Thankyou @Astonetogo this is good advice and is what I will do in future with all such requests.

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