To want a bigger house

[Kizzylovesrozie]

Ok , 1st post - be kind. I have 2 DD aged 9 and 10 (yes 11months apart). I’m a single mum and when I got divorced I couldn’t get a mortgage - 4+ years ago. However I rent a lovely 3 bed semi on a new build housing estate in a great area. I’ve worried for a while that whilst I have a lovely garden and the kids benefit from a safe place to live with little traffic the house is very small (new build remember). The 3rd bedroom is tiny , single bed and drawers and not room to swing a cat. My youngest is in there and gets very frustrated - her wardrobe is in her sisters room and all hell breaks loose if she enters without permission ! So, moving on I can now get a decent mortgage but can’t afford anything comparable (but bigger) with relatively newly built house - so I’m looking at a terraced cottage in need of renovation (mainly cosmetic). It’s only about 2 miles away so same town just other side and in a quiet area - I know it’s a good buy. BUT the kids aren’t happy , the want to stay here for their friends and playing out (we are in an amazing location). I don’t want to keep wasting money on rent, I want to buy a house and this is prob best I can do to get 3 big bedrooms (one being attic room that’s done to regs) I have the money for deposit and a decent budget for renovations (had a builder round to estimate costs) - this makes the most financial sense - but AIBU to move the kids (no school move btw , no impact on choice of high school just too far to walk themselves or call for their friends to ‘play out’. Also giving up decent garden for tiny yard but we don’t use it , I just find it a chore - will I regret this or will I love a ‘yarden’ that’s eventually mine ??? What would you do ? X

You are the adult, they are the children. They hardly understand finances at 9 and 10 so they don’t get to call the shots.

It’s pointless buying a house that you know is too small, your children are only going to get bigger and need more space, they are too young to think of the consequences of staying where they are now in a small house and they could fall out with their friends anyway! Give them a week in the new place and they will have made new friends. Buy the property with the space for your needs.

Oooh a very difficult one but ultimately I think you need to go for your long term adult goals. Ultimately your dc will be happy that you invested in a secure asset. You are their parent and you can weigh up all the financial options and have a clearer more objective view of the future which children cannot possibly have enough awareness of to take an important decision like this in context.

So I would go for the house.

The children's social life is important though. Will you always be running them back and forth to friends and vice versa in the car? Is there a bus or public transport available for them when they are teens?

As harsh as this sounds, you're children will make new friends.

Long term - Is your pension enough that you could rent all the way through retirement comfortably?

Personally, I think the best thing you can do for your family is provide a secure, safe home, whilst also giving yourself a secure future. They might not thank you now, but when they're older they certainly will!

At 9 and 10 realistically they’re not going to be playing out for much longer and will both make new friends they’ll be wanting to spend their free time with at secondary school. Likewise a garden - they’re going to outgrow playing in the garden, so as long as there’s enough space for sitting out in summer, barbecues, a few pots etc it sounds like it will meet your needs perfectly.

Are there adequate bus routes to what will be their high school, into town etc? In a few year’s time they (and you) will value their independence.

Sorry but your children don’t get to make financial decisions. As long as you’re happy to drop them off etc then I’d be buying the house. My kids went ape when we sold our last house, but they’re settled with new friends and love it here now. Good luck

It it private rent or council?

Is the cottage in a remote area, or do you think there might be other children who love within walking distance of your dad's?

Although tbh no real need to answer that, as pp's have said - at their ages they wouldn't be playing out much longer anyway. They'd be more grateful in the future that you owned your own house to maybe pass onto them

Move!

buy the cottage ASAP

Ha ha I remember at that age telling my parents they had ruined my life by moving us to the next village over. New house was so much better I was being an arse!

At 9 and 10 playing out will not last long. Soon enough they'll want and need larger bedroom space/privacy and want to have friends over more often.

Tell a white lie if u need to, the landlord wants their house back to live in.

Normally I am always the one to say the adult decides.
But - you are giving up a semi with garden where kids have some independence (only a single parent can appreciate the luxury of them playing outside without an adult - you are the ONLY adult)
To move to a terraced cottage that needs work, with no garden, only a yard, and they won't be able to walk to their friends (yet).
I think your principles are perfect - find a house to buy not rent - BUT this might be too soon. In two years your children will be older, more independent and able to travel.
For now, switch their rooms each year!

Put the youngest's wardrobe in your room to stop the silly squabbling about permission.
Just be aware that you'll probably have more squabbling if you move to somewhere they can't play out.

I disagree with the majority - you have a 3 bed house and 2 children who would prefer not to move, so no rush to do so. I would move your daughter's wardrobe into your room so she can access it without controversy, and look for somewhere close to where you are even if it isn't bigger.

The other house doesn't sound great with no garden and needing work (which always costs more than you are quoted).

Buy the house

In doing so you are securing your long term financial future.
Your children will have more equally sized bedrooms - important when they go to secondary school & have homework & stop playing out.

Agree with PPs - moving seems like the best decision financially. I bet you won't miss the garden. I am also a single mum and doing the garden is a chore too far!

Buy the house! Don't waste your money on rent when you can buy a long term permanent home. The new home will be YOURS!! They may not understand now but they will in the future. And if it doesn't work out, you can always move in the future.

The playing out will soon be at an end.

They will go to the same school as their friends: are you able to take them over for play dates / pick friends up for play dates? For a couple of years. Is there a bus? The older one will presumably be in secondary next year anyway and going in the bus or walking?

If you can afford a mortgage buying seems the best idea.

Otherwise a high level bed with hanging space underneath?

Well if you do stay put, I’d sort this nonsense out: My youngest is in there and gets very frustrated - her wardrobe is in her sisters room and all hell breaks loose if she enters without permission !

Poor kid. Bossed about by someone barely older than a twin. Should be the same “rule” as when I enter my teenagers rooms - I knock, and they either say, “come in” or “just a sec” (if changing) and then almost immediately after - in I go. If no-one in the room - in I go. Poor kid shouldn’t be asking permission to get her own things! It should be a courtesy knock only. Any lip from the older ones, I’d swap them rooms and see how she likes it. I really wouldn’t have that behaviour in my house!

What sort of leeway do you have on your budget for renovations? Is it a Victorian era terrace? Sometimes what appears to just be cosmetic can take a horrible turn. I would be looking to buy but not rushing in to it.

Ok so my room is tiny , double bed wardrobe and bedside cabinets - no chance I can get anything else in here so that’s not an option. (new build remember = tiny)
kids behaviour - personally I think a certain (reasonable) amount of space is none negotiable if I can provide it , I also feel both are entitled to privacy. my 10 year old is showing signs of puberty and asks for ‘time alone’ (not in a concerning way) she doesn’t want her little sister intruding - she wants her space - I will provide that for her / them.
Swapping rooms every 12 months - I’m not doing that , I think their rooms should be their own so I’m not redecorating every year.
I have a 30k budget for decor flooring , new kitchen and bathroom. Seems doable it’s bigger than this box but not huge ! Will decorate (paint) rooms myself.
Not sure which Era I’m in but it’s 200 years old.
There is a bus ‘circular’ route that passes the house with stop nearby.
My mortgage will be £100 a month less than my current rent.
Its a small town - 2 high schools one is the grammar that I’m not interested in as people fight like hell to get in from miles around , my kids could get in but I’m not competitive we wouldn’t fit in. The state school is very very good - so whilst most kids living nearby probably do to the nearer primary school - the vast majority will go to that main secondary school.
They are currently year 4 and 5
Had I been able to buy comparable property almost 4 years ago I’d be looking at a price of maybe £125k - prices are rising steeply , I’m 42 - I don’t want to wait any longer as my deposit becomes less valuable?
I feel the financial benefits far out way the inconvenience -
Am I wrong ?

With mortgage 100 a month less than you’re paying in rent, bigger rooms and a 30k budget for decorating, it’s a no brainer. Snap it up!

Thanks for everyone’s input , I’ve now instructed solicitors and am moving forward with the cottage - it’s been a tough decision but even if I could buy this house I wouldn’t it’s lovely but too small for teenagers - the finances are important for mine and their longer term future and this house is a really really good buy - I hope I’m not posting ‘the house from hell’ further down the line but I’m doing my due diligence , I’ve asked so many questions , got homebuyers survey (level 2 in new money) and feel confident this is the right decision ! Thanks again everyone ! X

Good luck op! Hope it works out for you and your family.