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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for non-refundable deposit back

116 replies

Roundgreysoft · 12/03/2024 15:47

I know mumsnet hate tattoos but please put that aside the the sake of the question.

I had a tattoo appt booked for 7 months. I got very poorly and was hospitalised. Knowing I may still not be well enough to attend (in fact the tattooist probably wouldn't have been able to go ahead on medical grounds), I cancelled the appt with 6 weeks notice and asked to reschedule when I was definitely well enough, as I may not be by the appt date. Was upfront when originally booking that I could only do Saturdays due to childcare. The shop is a long way from me and I can only do a weekend because of people being around to basically help for the whole day.

Tattooist will now not rebook for a Saturday at any point in 2024. They haven’t said they're fully booked, just said they can't do any Saturdays now. They also didn't mention that this would be impossible for them when I asked to reschedule. They are 2 hours drive from me and I've used them 3 times before (did not have the childcare to worry about then). It is a 4 hour round trip to get there and back without the time it takes to do the tattoo.

I paid a £70 non refundable deposit at the time of booking. Should I ask for them to return this? Am I being unreasonable expecting them to rebook for a Saturday if they did before - I don't care if I have to wait months for this, or even if it is next year, but they don't seem to understand I can't magic up childcare for an entire day.
With 6 weeks to go they filled my cancelled appointment and hadn't done my artwork. Still haven't as I don't actually have an appointment yet. So the deposit isn't being held against anything.

I work in an industry where I actually ask for payment in full to secure dates in my diary, but if people cancel with at least 3 days notice then they are refunded in full, and I only keep the money if they cancel on the day (50% if less than 3 days). If I originally offer one week day for somebody and we reschedule, then I will always give them the opportunity to reschedule for the same day I agreed to to start with.
I hate having to ask for a refund when it clearly states non-refundable but...

Interested in opinions.

OP posts:
lifebeginsaftercoffee · 12/03/2024 16:12

Even if you didn't get sepsis, how could you have gone ahead with the appointment when you were pregnant? Confused

Original poster
Roundgreysoft · 12/03/2024 16:13

FunnyFinch of course you aren't allowed tattoos while pregnant. I've had it booked for that duration of time. Yes originally booked for a Saturday.

I love this artist, they seem nice, and their work is great which is why I've been several times. Just want to get opinions on if I have to suck up the loss of £70....

OP posts:
NaomhPadraigin · 12/03/2024 16:14

Roundgreysoft · 12/03/2024 16:07

  • sounds to me like they are no longer working Saturdays, rather than fully booked for 2024. Is there really no other day of the week for the whole of the year that you can go? I'd prefer to change the day instead of losing 70 quid.*

My thoughts too. The difficulty is my baby is very young so I genuinely do not have the support for such a long stint during the week. If they were local, I could do it, but it's a 4 hour round trip to even get there and nobody feels comfortable. I'm not sure I would either. DH is home on weekends.

Yes, but your baby will be older and a lot sturdier in November (& actually long before that too). Why not pick a weekday date way into the future? Ask a friend to come along who can mind the baby while you're at your appointment. No one needs to mind the baby for the full day.

I know you've a young baby now, but they grow up really fast - honestly in 6 / 7 months' time you'll be able to leave him/her.
Edit: just seen that your baby is 5 months old. By Nov they'll be a year old!

Question is: do you want the tattoo or not? Because if you do pick a date & work around it. If not, ask for your deposit back & see what happens.

zingally · 12/03/2024 16:14

To be fair, the clues in the phrase "non-refundable".

Like others have said, there's no harm in asking, but they've probably got you pinned as a bit of timewaster (I'm sure they've heard all the excuses under the sun at this point - hence the deposit).
Surely there must be another day in the next 9 months, where you could arrange childcare, to go and get it done?

Viviennemary · 12/03/2024 16:14

I dont think you are unreasonable to ask but they would be in their rights to refuse IMHO. It's not their fault you live so far away or that you can only do a Saturday. If you dont want to lose the money the both of you go amd take the baby with you and book a days holiday through the week. If that isn't possible and they won't refund then it doesn't look promising.

FairyBatman · 12/03/2024 16:14

I’d put it back on them. “If you are unable to fit me in for any Saturday in the whole of 2024 would it be easier to refund the deposit?”

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:14

It is also not clear the effect the inks and dyes might have on a developing baby. It is also worth taking into consideration that during pregnancy the skin can react differently to the tattoo ink, even if you’ve had one before, and you may suffer an allergic reaction which can range from mild to life-threatening.

Another thing to think about, although not detrimental to your health is that during pregnancy, your body is growing and so any tattoo etched onto skin while you’re pregnant, may be subject to stretching. This is particularly true of the arms, legs, chest and tummy areas.
Many tattooists are unwilling to take the risk of tattooing a pregnant woman. So, all things considered, waiting until your baby arrives to get a tattoo, is probably the best solution.

and you were going to have at 7 months pregnant??

you got a blood infection at 7 months pregnant. was this by chance following a tattoo?

afrikat · 12/03/2024 16:15

FairyBatman · 12/03/2024 16:14

I’d put it back on them. “If you are unable to fit me in for any Saturday in the whole of 2024 would it be easier to refund the deposit?”

Yeah I'd say this

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:15

Roundgreysoft · 12/03/2024 16:13

FunnyFinch of course you aren't allowed tattoos while pregnant. I've had it booked for that duration of time. Yes originally booked for a Saturday.

I love this artist, they seem nice, and their work is great which is why I've been several times. Just want to get opinions on if I have to suck up the loss of £70....

you said you had a tattoo booked for 7 months ago

you said your baby was 5 months

meaning the tattoo was booked for when you were 7 months pregnant

read your own op

Gazelda · 12/03/2024 16:15

I'd ask if I were you.

But you do seem incredibly inflexible. I understand the difficulties you have, but maybe they're equally finding difficult to be flexible.

Hopefully they will see sense and show some customer service.

Original poster
Roundgreysoft · 12/03/2024 16:16

I was not pregnant when I got sepsis!! My baby was 3.5 months old and it was a complication of an NHS medical procedure!!!!

I am not pregnant now!

OP posts:
afrikat · 12/03/2024 16:17

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:15

you said you had a tattoo booked for 7 months ago

you said your baby was 5 months

meaning the tattoo was booked for when you were 7 months pregnant

read your own op

Show quote history

There's no reason she couldn't have booked the appointment when pregnant, assuming she wasn't planning on breastfeeding

Beezknees · 12/03/2024 16:18

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:15

you said you had a tattoo booked for 7 months ago

you said your baby was 5 months

meaning the tattoo was booked for when you were 7 months pregnant

read your own op

Show quote history

OP did not say she had the tattoo booked 7 months ago. She said "had the tattoo booked 7 months" meaning she's had it booked FOR 7 months. She obviously booked it 7 months ago while pregnant, for after the baby was born. You're the one not reading it properly.

Itslegitimatesalvage · 12/03/2024 16:18

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:14

It is also not clear the effect the inks and dyes might have on a developing baby. It is also worth taking into consideration that during pregnancy the skin can react differently to the tattoo ink, even if you’ve had one before, and you may suffer an allergic reaction which can range from mild to life-threatening.

Another thing to think about, although not detrimental to your health is that during pregnancy, your body is growing and so any tattoo etched onto skin while you’re pregnant, may be subject to stretching. This is particularly true of the arms, legs, chest and tummy areas.
Many tattooists are unwilling to take the risk of tattooing a pregnant woman. So, all things considered, waiting until your baby arrives to get a tattoo, is probably the best solution.

and you were going to have at 7 months pregnant??

you got a blood infection at 7 months pregnant. was this by chance following a tattoo?

What are you talking about? She booked the appointment 7 months ago. She was pregnant when she booked it but she was not going to be pregnant once the appointment time came. She had the baby. When there was 6 weeks to go until the appointment, she got sepsis and cancelled it.

The pregnancy and the appointment date did not overlap. Where the hell did you get the info from that she was going to be pregnant during the appointment?

Original poster
Roundgreysoft · 12/03/2024 16:19

FunnyFinch it says " had a tattoo appt booked for 7 months." Booked when I was pregnant for when no longer pregnant.
Thanks

OP posts:
FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:19

how long ago did you make the original booking and when was it actually for

your timeline doesn’t make sense

sp when you got sepsis you were pregnant.

and you immediately cancelled the tattoo giving 6 weeks notice so….. you were planning on getting done when pregnant!

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:20

Roundgreysoft · 12/03/2024 16:19

FunnyFinch it says " had a tattoo appt booked for 7 months." Booked when I was pregnant for when no longer pregnant.
Thanks

you got sepsis at 3.5 months notice

you have 6 week cancellation

Itslegitimatesalvage · 12/03/2024 16:20

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:15

you said you had a tattoo booked for 7 months ago

you said your baby was 5 months

meaning the tattoo was booked for when you were 7 months pregnant

read your own op

Show quote history

That’s not what the OP said. The appointment wasn’t for a date 7 months ago. She booked the appointment 7 months ago, for sometime now. But then got sepsis and had to cancel. She is no longer pregnant.

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:21

the timings are all very wooly
so i will bow out
good luck

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:22

Itslegitimatesalvage · 12/03/2024 16:20

That’s not what the OP said. The appointment wasn’t for a date 7 months ago. She booked the appointment 7 months ago, for sometime now. But then got sepsis and had to cancel. She is no longer pregnant.

Show quote history

yes here baby is just 5 months old

so what was the date of the original booking?

Beezknees · 12/03/2024 16:22

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:19

how long ago did you make the original booking and when was it actually for

your timeline doesn’t make sense

sp when you got sepsis you were pregnant.

and you immediately cancelled the tattoo giving 6 weeks notice so….. you were planning on getting done when pregnant!

What is not making sense to you?

OP booked the tattoo around 7 months ago, likely for sometime this month. She had a baby 5 months ago. She developed sepsis 3.5 months ago, and cancelled the tattoo appointment that was booked for this month knowing she would not be fully recovered.

Itslegitimatesalvage · 12/03/2024 16:22

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:20

you got sepsis at 3.5 months notice

you have 6 week cancellation

Show quote history

What are you talking about? She got sepsis when her baby was 3.5 months old. She didn’t get sepsis with 3.5 months notice. She got sepsis when she had 6 weeks until the appointment and told the tattoo artist.

You just need to stop posting @FunnyFinch because you’ve got everything completely wrong, you misunderstood the OP and since then you’ve tried to trip her up after every post. She has been perfectly clear, it all makes sense. You’re just wrong. So stop.

Original poster
Roundgreysoft · 12/03/2024 16:24

the timings are all very wooly
so i will bow out
good luck

Thank christ

OP posts:
Beezknees · 12/03/2024 16:24

FunnyFinch · 12/03/2024 16:22

yes here baby is just 5 months old

so what was the date of the original booking?

Show quote history

OP made the booking 7 months ago when she was pregnant, for a date sometime this month when she is not pregnant! You have to book tattoos well in advance.

HelloMiss · 12/03/2024 16:25

So your DH takes a days annual leave

Sorted!