Need urgent advice about DC's tablet containing inappropriate content

[cadburyegg]

Need urgent advice about DC access to inappropriate content

My dc both have Amazon fire tablets. DC9’s was bought by my exh so it is linked to his account. Last night I looked through the photo album and there were pictures on there of half naked photos of women and a photo of exh with his genitals on full show. These are obviously photos that have been sent to others and vice versa. These photos are a few years old. I don’t know if DC have seen them or not.

This is the third time I’ve been concerned about this kind of thing, although this is the worst. I saw exh posting inappropriate sexual messages about teenage boys on a Facebook group last year, but he claimed he was hacked. A few months ago I discovered the link between DC’s tablet and his account as the tablet linked to exh’s amazon library which had erotic fiction on it (freely accessible) and porn with explicit photos. I didn’t confront exh at the time because I figured it was just a mistake.

This is a mistake too but I can’t accept it going forward.

I have taken the tablets away until I figure out what to do next. DC9 needs access to a tablet for schoolwork etc and so I can’t ban them completely. I need some advice please about tablets that have robust parental controls. Also how to approach this going forward?? DC go to exh every other weekend and they may have access to his phone and devices while they are there. I also noticed on the tablets that he has put Netflix and Amazon prime apps on with zero parental controls. I have messaged exh but have been ignored

If you think your ex is talking to teenagers on the internet you need to call the police

I agree with this - you need to report this to the police - do not tell your ex

Can you afford to buy your DS a tablet which is linked only to your account? Then give the old one back to ex DH, tell him it's none of your business what he looks at in his own time but DS can't be exposed to that sort of material. Also point out that if your DS is using it for school and takes it into school and a teacher sees any of that you'll have a nightmare of a safeguarding problem on your hands

Definitely a safeguarding issue.

My two have Amazon tablets and they definitely don’t like to my (very boring) book choices but they are set up as quite locked down kids profiles.

I also think you need to talk to the police. Your ex is also exposing very young children to indecent imagery.

My guess is he’s hooked up his phone to Amazon photos (the app auto syncs and saves photos to amazon servers from any phone) and then allowed the kindle to access the Amazon photos.

I would buy them a device they can only use at your house which is connected to your accounts only.

I accidentally downloaded my very boring books to my kids kindles without even realising it. Don’t think they’ve got access to my also boring photos.

Get an android tablet, you can get a child's account linked to your Gmail if you have one and can see/ask permission for everything from your phone.

I wouldn't be letting ex have any say or link to electronics my child has at all.

You need to buy the tech and set up the accounts. If your DC have seen the pictures and talked about it in school it would become a safeguarding issue. Your children are being exposed to sexual content and it does come under the law. What did your ex say about the teenage boys? Could your DC's friends be at risk, even in the future?

Can you look into setting the tablet up with a child's profile? He shouldn't be able to access your ex-DH's content that way, and can still use whatever apps he needs for schoolwork.

You need to ask your ex to de-register your child's tablet from his Amazon account so you can re-register it to yours. I don't understand why on earth you didn't tell your ex to do that the moment you found out your children had access to his downloaded books? If he's completely unaware that his children can access this stuff, he's obviously going to keep syncing his content. He's obviously synced his photos to his Amazon account, which lots of people do as it's a convenient backup system, but he's probably unaware that this means his children can see them on their tablets.

If you have genuinely seen him approaching underage boys on Facebook then you need to speak to the police.

Sorry should have clarified about the teenagers. There were photos of 18-19 year olds that ex was commenting on in a public Facebook group. The photos were suggestive and he put explicit comments on. Ex said he was hacked and I had no evidence to the contrary.

I had no idea it was possible to deregister an account for the Amazon fire tablets. I had blocked access/deleted the access to the books so I thought that would be the end of it.

do I need to contact the school?

I wouldn’t contact the school you’ll drop yourself right in it. Just tell your ex he needs to unsync his account from the kids devices as all his pics are on there. Or create anew profile for the kids to use.
If he really was commenting on teenage boys that’s a whole other headfuck 😬

You need to contact the police.

Honestly, what have I just read? Why would you let your boys go back there after the Facebook debacle? Jesus.

What would the police do? She said in her update the teenagers were 18/19

Last night I looked through the photo album and there were pictures on there of half naked photos of women and a photo of exh with his genitals on full show. These are obviously photos that have been sent to others and vice versa

Exposure to porn at a young age, doesn't matter that it's accidental

Tell your ex everything you've found, factory reset the tablet and create a fresh account for your DC

I don't buy the 'they need access for homework' tbh this can be done on a family computer in a common space with you monitoring.

I'd be reporting this officially as a safeguarding concern personally.

If you don't have a tablet at your house I'd buy one (on interest free credit or klarna if I had to) so I could put parental controls on it, and the kids can use it for homework only, and with you supervising.

If you can afford it I'd just buy a new Amazon kindle-they are a lot cheaper than i pads and just link it to your Amazon account