It's DH 50th next year. When I turned 50 a couple of years ago I wanted to do something special so we went to the south of France. I planned it and booked it. He was miserable on the trip, didn't want to pay for drinks as he felt it was too expensive. Refused to get the bus when it was a 30min walk to our apartment and my feet were covered in blisters. We had an awful time largely due to his clear unhappiness at being there. He did get me a few gifts and a card. (I don't remember what. I think smellies and books)
Despite that I was still keen to treat him for his 50th we had had a couple of chats about what to do. We were at a party and I raised it (in context with the conversation). Later dh had a go at me telling me to 'stop bringing it up' i think it had been mentioned 3 times in about 18 months.
I haven't raised it since. (About a year ) dd asked what I'm planning, I said nothing. If dh wants to do something or asks me to do something I will and I won't be mardy about it but I don't want to plan for someone who made minimal effort for my birthday and ruined our holiday. Aibu?