To want to end it with my boyfriend?

[ThatAmusedAquaMember]

I was Googling to see if people had similar problems and found here. I know I don't have to have a reason to break up with someone but I'd like your objective opinion whether I'm being unreasonable as I don't want to regret my decision.

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year. This is the best relationship I had so far and am deeply in love with him. However, I find myself growing resentful and unhappy by the day.

He lives in the house he bought with his ex. They broke up 2 years ago. She moved out and doesn't pay mortgage. The house isn't selling as the price is too high. Ex refuses to pay the difference if they tap into negative equity. He seems wedded to a certain outcome, he doesn't want to lose money.

Which is fine, BUT he's losing money every month paying towards the ex's equity. Also it causes so much financial and emotional burden. We don't do anything together as he's always 'too broke'. The other day he told me he couldn't afford to buy shower gel. I felt horrible and immediately got him some but can't help in the longer run. The house needs to sell.

He keeps complaining about finances constantly. I used to symphatise but I find it very draining and emotionally taxing nowadays. I'm suffering consequences of something I had no involvement in.

His family have been helping enormously so not sure how he is that broke. Which brings to our most important issue. I don't trust what he has to say. He's previously lied to me about big and small things. Mainly as a defence mechanism to avoid conflict but I'm having such hard time envisaging starting a family with a guy like that.

We had 2 strong points. 1) Sex life, which is now suffering so badly due to financial pressures and 2) travelling together. We went on budget holidays and enjoyed it so much. Since October he wasn't able to go anywhere. He told me it was because of the debt he accrued from our holidays but we do 50/50 and I know how much he would've spent so I challenged him. He then admitted the majority of the debt was from before were together...

What are your thoughts? Are we doomed or is it worth communicating my feelings to him? I did so in the past but nothing changes and I'm losing hope.

If you need to ask the question, you know the answer.

Get rid.

Yeah, that's the bit that jumped right out at me. At it.

It's not your fault that he rushed into buying a house with his last girlfriend. They split up 2 years ago and she is no longer paying her half of the mortgage. It seems he wants to sell the house for more than he paid for it. Meanwhile his house could have fallen in value or selling it may not pay off the mortgage in full.

He thinks if he stays there he get sale price he wants but meanwhile he moaning to you about money all the time. He says he has no money to do anything but you caught him lying before.
If he is that short of money why does he not sell the house? If he can't sell it at the moment why does he not let a room out to a tenant to help pay the mortgage?

I think that you are seeing what he is really like. The moaning about money and the lack of doing anything to deal with the house situation is annoying you. Then you have caught him lying. My feeling is that he expect you to move in and start to help him with mortgage payments and bills soon.
I think that you had poor relationships in the past but this relationship is another poor one. I tell him it over. Tell him it time to rent out a room to help pay his mortgage or to sell the house because you not in a position to help him out financially and you had enough of his moaning about money.
I do the freedom program then to help you get into a better relationship going forward.
A man who's mean or lying won't change and in time he will expect you to carry him financially so I be ending things with him.

You've got to wonder, if his previous gf was a childhood friend so presumably knew him pretty well, why they didn't last very long as a couple. Of course it's not unknown for friends to find they just aren't suited to a romantic relationship. However, it's also not unknown for a good friend to suddenly behave like an arse when you become "the girlfriend" or "the wife" instead of, well, a separate human being. It would be interesting to hear the ex's perspective. Maybe their history is now repeating, and will repeat again with someone else when/if you split (which is entirely your choice either way).

He's tied himself to a bad financial decision that is impacting his quality of life every day.
I'd like to hear what happened from his ex's point of view. Presumably she had some money tied up in the house but has for some reason has cut her losses and walked away?
No one does that without a good reason. In your shoes I'd leave, but if you are still thinking of staying then at least use Clare's Law, the DV disclosure scheme.

https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/alpha2/request-information-under-clares-law/

The reason I was told is that she worked long hours and was never around. The story kind of checks as he showed me a few texts between them.

She won't lose any money. She didn't put any deposit and will get the money she put towards the mortgage once the sale is complete. She will also get part of whatever my boyfriend's been paying since she moved out.

I don't really know what went down between them but sounds like they were good friends but bad partners. It happens.

It may sound like a small thing, but the soap story is just that. A story

He lied.
You commented that he smelled
He couldn't admit that he hadn't showered so he blamed the soap.
You then said buy shower gel
He doubled down to say he (poor victim) couldn't even afford the LUXURY of shower gel.
You ended up buying him some shower gel.

He cannot have a normal conversation with out defensive lying, even over such a small thing as not having time to shower.

omg just end it. It sounds like an utter mess and it’s really not one you need to be apart of.

He lied and tried to blame you for his debt when it was from before you got together.

That’s not small. Thats massive.

Run away.

His story doesn’t sound right. He needs to sell and downsize or remortgage.

Lies

Broke

Don't trust what he says

Smells

Get rid of him

She will also get part of whatever my boyfriend's been paying since she moved out.

I'm not so sure on that. If he has proof that she moved out then I don't think that part would be taken into account.

Anyway who cares, leave him. You can do better. You don't have to put up with anything.