My DH and I have been together 15 years married for 8 and have two very young children together.
He had a recent close family bereavement which has been awful. We had a baby 7 months ago too, so life has been stressful recently.
He's told me he wants marriage counselling because he isn't happy. We aren't being very nice to each other, he has a terrible temper, I am irritable as exhausted all the time, etc etc. currently sleeping in separate beds and no sex life as both too knackered and kids wake up all night. Very little childcare support so never get time together really. Still lots of love between us and we are both committed to things improving with some couples therapy.
I have realised that an ex of his recently followed him on social media, but what's worse is that he lied to me about it. He actually drew it to my attention. He was like 'oh, x has followed me!' While looking at his phone. I said 'x who?' As it is a common name. He then said oh you wouldn't know them just an old friend, some guy I used to go drinking with. He quickly brushed it off (it could be a male or female name).
I checked because I felt suspicious and there she was - his ex (who I know broke his heart) has recently followed him.
Why did he lie? He has never in 15 years given me reason to distrust or question him. This is really bad timing considering our current rocky patch. I need to ask him about it but wondering how to approach and if I just sound crazy! I don't actually care if his ex follows him, more that he lied.
I've laid awake all night worrying about this. I'm trying to hold our marriage together as it is and this is just making it worse.