Advice please - tricky situation with restaurant

[hairbearbunches]

Any advice on this welcome. I'm not sure what to do next other than chalk it up to a poor experience and move on, but I'm pretty cross about it. Went to a pretty upmarket restaurant last week not far from where we live. Second time I've been. DH has been a few times more with work colleagues. The waitress dropped some cutlery behind my chair as she was clearing away the plates of the table next to us - group of 5 women. Loud noise, nothing more than that or so I thought at the time. As we were leaving, DH went to loo and asked me to take the dog who had been sitting underneath his side of the table the entire meal. I took her lead and she started paying serious interest in my coat which was hanging off the back of the chair. When I looked down, it was covered in grease marks, there was pretty much a perfect imprint of a greasy knife up the left hand side of the sleeve as well as other biggish greasy marks. It was quite obvious what had happened so I went and told the waitress who had dropped the cutlery. She looked a bit rabbit in headlights and I got the distinct impression she knew it was already there and had been hoping we weren't going to notice. The coat is a waxed coat from Toast. I got it in the sale but it still cost £175. It can't be dry cleaned, hand wash cold only. I've tried to get the grease out and made a decent stab of it, but it's not the same coat. There are still stains on it.
Anyway, long story short, I finally got an email back from them tonight saying they'd spoken to the waitress and the knife (singular) she dropped was nowhere my coat and therefore they believe that my coat was already greased up before I got there and the dog licking it has made it worse (the dog licked it once).
What would you do? Put it down to bad luck and accidents happen or pursue it further. I'm pretty hacked off with their dismissive attitude. I walked in to their restaurant with a pristine coat and walked out with it in a right mess and they've made me feel like I'm trying to pull a scam on them.

This surely ?

I'd write back and say that it is not dry cleanable, with evidence eg a photo of the label, and ask for the cost of a like for like replacement (which will be second hand, no matter how few times you've worn it).

Then decide if small claims is worth the £35 and hassle to you. Maybe get some CAB advice.

I don’t know why mumsnetters seem to be so mean about anyone noting anything that is not cheap. FFS why must everyone be poor or pretend to be poor?

That said here’s a link for OP with cleaning info: https://www.rydale.com/blogs/news/how-to-clean-wash-a-wax-jacket

What do you expect to be done? Accidents happen and if you choose to have an expensive coat, you must know that at some point it could be accidentally damaged one way or another. You lost me at a dog to be honest. There’s no place for dogs in a restaurant, not at all, it’s not even a discussion. Your dog has a far greater potential to cause trouble than a poor waitress accidentally dropping cutlery. Honestly, get over it and move on.

Not what I was expecting for £175

I'd be telling them you have witnesses and that you will take the matter further.

What did the witnesses see? Op didn't see the cutlery land on her coat!

It wasn’t an “upmarket” restaurant. That is just a fact. Upmarket restaurants do not allow dogs. I am bemused as to why pointing this out makes somebody jealous.

I must have missed the posts telling OP she shouldn’t wear an expensive coat, not least because it isn’t a particular expensive coat. I have seen posts saying why spend that much on a coat that cannot be cleaned. I would spend less on a disposable coat I guess.

OP should suck it up because it is evident from the mark that this was not caused by a knife brushing past as it falls to the floor but rather that OP has put her arm firmly in something whilst wearing the coat.

Why so hung up on the exact meaning and definition of 'upmarket'? The OP has explained what she meant by that. Maybe you just 'missed' it, like you 'missed' the ones about how the OP got what she deserved for wearing an expensive coat (paraphrasing but only slightly).

The OP would have noticed if she'd put her arm that firmly in something with the coat on

Wow, I can't believe how aggressive and unpleasant some posters are. I wonder if they realise how snide they are. I'm not sure it's worse if it's deliberate or accidental though. There are some strange people out there!!!!

Similar happened to me years ago
Was in a shop and picked up a lava lamp type thing (I did say years ago!) and it had broken, someone had just put it back on the shelf and not told anyone
The liquid poured down my brand new coat and it was a kind of oil base. They paid for dry cleaning and when it didn't come out, they paid for the cost of the coat when I brought a receipt in

I’m not hung up about it. 🤷‍♀️

OP putting her arm in something and not noticing is far more probable than a falling knife made that mark. There was sustained contact for such a mark.

Very kind of you to take time out of your busy job as a forensic scientist to contribute to this thread!

Oh, my mistake, I thought I was using the right word for arguing about the place being upmarket (which is really not the point of the thread/the OP's problem).
Silly me.

People are hilarious here. Unless OP is some sort of scammer (don't think so!) even I can see that the mark on this coat is highly unlikely to be caused by her. Do we really think she'd put a post here and make up a story so she gets our sympathy? No. I believe her.

As I said before and as a few pps have said I'd be bloody furious if my coat was ruined by a careless waitress. Waitress is nervous/scared because she thinks the cost of the coat will come out of her wages. Well be more careful then. I've waitressed before and you have to be careful and not go spilling things onto other people's belongings. OP though and the restaurant will have learned that next time they take the coat to put it away in a cloakroom, the restaurant are really at fault there because they should have offered to take her coat and put it in the cloakroom or hung it up.

Not the point of the thread, but it is "cojones", "cajones" are drawers.

@Katiesaidthat 😆

If I had a coat that was not extortionately expensive but cost me a fair chunk of money and was uncleanable I don’t think I would hang it on the back of
a chair. Hanging it on the back of a chair implies it’s not valuable. And leaving it hanging next to a dog to lick.

Falling cutlery in a restaurant is a predictable event. Especially if it’s not the sort of place that has coat storage. That seems like a more casual restaurant with less professional, more ad hoc wait staff, which you know going into it.

I don’t know at what price point people think it is too expensive to have replaced, £500, £1000, £2500? Lots of coats are very very expensive and at some point it would be unreasonable to replace it for a predictable event.

"It wasn’t an “upmarket” restaurant. That is just a fact. Upmarket restaurants do not allow dogs. I am bemused as to why pointing this out makes somebody jealous.

I must have missed the posts telling OP she shouldn’t wear an expensive coat, not least because it isn’t a particular expensive coat. I have seen posts saying why spend that much on a coat that cannot be cleaned. I would spend less on a disposable coat I guess.

OP should suck it up because it is evident from the mark that this was not caused by a knife brushing past as it falls to the floor but rather that OP has put her arm firmly in something whilst wearing the coat."

None of the above is true. Hilarious

I suspect the people saying that upmarket restaurants by definition must not allow dogs are Londoners. You don't have to spend that long in rural areas to know that there are some very good restaurants, and pubs with - quelle horreur - a Michelin star or two, that do allow dogs. They're not the OXO tower, no. But they are very much not greasy spoon cafes either.

You wouldn't turn up to them in muddy boots, or if you did, you'd take them off at the door. I can't guarantee all the men would be wearing a tie though.

up·mar·ket

BRITISH
adjective

1. relatively expensive and designed to appeal to affluent consumers.

"an upmarket ski resort" adverb

1. towards the more expensive or affluent sector of the market.

"the pub seems to have forgotten its local community in a quest to go upmarket"

OED doesn’t mention 🐩. But I think a place where you easily spend £200 for two people qualifies.

Oi, I'm a Londoner and I haven't said/don't think this!
Apart from anything else, if you ever read restaurant reviews they will often say (sometimes approvingly, sometimes not) when places are dog-friendly.

Well obviously NALALT @MarkWithaC 😀
But I suspect there is a subgroup of Londoners who think like that. I'd draw a Venn diagram of rural vs London vs dog in restaurant approval but really, I cba.

Pity, I love a Venn diagram

BardRelic · Today 16:03

Well obviously NALALT @MarkWithaC 😀
But I suspect there is a subgroup of Londoners who think like that. I'd draw a Venn diagram of rural vs London vs dog in restaurant approval but really, I cba.

Honestly I think you're being a bit unfair here. Plenty of places in London would be totally fine for dogs to eat there. Especially if there is outside dining or it's a fancy pub.
And actually other than maybe the Ritz (and who the hell goes there anyway?) nowhere I can think of in London expects men to wear ties!!

I think this is the peak nasty and ignorant post on a thread that has to be a peak pointlessly nasty Mumsnet thread in recent times.

Congratulations everyone!! 👏 👏 👏