NC as I feel silly and really hope you will all vote yabu and call me silly.
Partner and I recently been talking a lot about real commitment ie marriage/kids. This is great, v happy except..
I've got this gut niggle about an incident that happened over a year ago, and I feel like I can't commit while it's still in my mind.
Long story short ..
In bed with partner when a WhatsApp flashes on his phone from a attractive young women I don't recognise. Let's call her Steph. Partner puts phone to one side, where he normally opens all messages.
I call him out straight away, as it was suspicious he didn't open the message - asked who was that. He says, a friend from work. I ask to see message, he reluctantly gets phone and opens message.
Message read "Sorry, you asked me to get back to you on here. I can't get any shrooms atm, seems to be a shortage. How's did the move go?x". There's no previous conversation.
I don't know why, as I didn't have trust issues / anxiety etc at this point, but my gut was ON FIRE ladies. I felt so weird and almost sick. I asked him who she was etc, what had they conversed on before (as he asked her to contact him on WhatsApp according to her message). He couldn't tell me, said he couldn't remember, said he hasn't spoke to her for ages and she was messaging out of the blue. He said he hadn't spoke to her since seeing her at the work (months before).
There was so much that didn't add up. He said he met her on a contractual job from months earlier (so he wouldn't have seen her for months) and said he hadn't spoke to her since then.. but in the message she sent she was asking about how his move went, which he had done THAT WEEK.
He said she worked in a department that he would have no reason having her number for.
He said hed probably just contacted her to get shrooms and knew she did them, but he couldn't remember how he contacted her or when. Also he had a regular shrooms supplier he has always used before and since. I've never seen him ask about other friends for shrooms.
I dont do shrooms or any of that. But he was very vague. Very 'i don't remember, I don't know'. It was just, strange. Something felt off.
Anyway, he said he was allowed friends (true) and that the message had nothing wrong with it (also true) and that I should trust him and not be a crazy woman. It's not the message itself that concerned me, it was all the stuff that didn't add up around it. Anyway, I let it go and we've never spoken about it.
Until now, he's talking about big commitments and I think he will propose this year. But this incident is weighing on my mind. I raised it this morning and he was pretty rattled - understandably - asking where this was coming from etc. He said he hadn't spoke to her since that message and actually opened up his WhatsApp to show me.
I'm fully prepared and hoping to be told it's cold feet and to trust and love him and continue to let it go and choose to take him at his word. It was over a year ago now. But my gut is like, there is something strange and unexplained there. I just felt at the time his reaction to it all was weird to. Nervous, almost careful. But then I don't do any drugs / mushrooms so wonder if it's more related to the fact he thought I would disapprove of him trying to get them.