To ask parents of SEN/ASC toddlers how you toilet trained

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Please feel free to PM me.

I know these threads can cause arguments etc, but I would just like some help, ideas, support, tips, anything to help my son.

He is 4 years. He is non verbal. He lacks any real understanding or acknowledgement of what is going on. He has limited understanding of spoken language which isn't routine driven. But I am desperate to start him. I am so worried I have left it too late after reading the ERIC website.

All real life examples, handy tips etc are very welcome. And before anyone says anything I'm here for the traffic so apologies for using aibu 🫣

Sorry no answers but commenting as I need to know the same.

Waited till he was 5 and a half.

I toilet trained my now non verbal teen at 9 with a lot of help from the disability team and his special school
We had a plan we started just taking him to the toilet at set tines it was recommended every two hours eventually he starred occasionally using it
It too us a long time but eventually he knew he needed the toilet and I took cues from him.
Consistency is what worked and routine

@x2boys thank you. I was hoping you would show up! 🩵 I saw your post on the toilet training thread of another OP. I couldn't remember your username exactly though. I might give his SEN worker at the Council a call too see if we can come up with a plan of attack. Did you still go out for days etc? In nappies/training pants?

Hello
I just managed to toilet train mine however it took me a very long time . I started off by toilet training him for two hours a day by taking off his nappy and giving him drinks so he would pee in those hours. I did this for two months and I noticed he has started holding in his pee when his nappy was off.
During this time as well I kept putting him on the potty after he did a number 2 so he associated it with using the potty and i would also be reading him a toilet training flip book which he enjoyed . Then for the next 6 months I took off his nappy and put him in underwear and kept taking him toilet every 30 mins or when he showed signs . Now it's been almost 6 months in he is toilet trained and doesn't have much accidents unless I forget to put him on the toilet often. Right now he has had odd moments of taking himself to the toilet which is something I am working on.
Overall as you can see it's a long work in progress but keep consistent you will get there

I also want to add that he is 3 years 9 months . So ive been doing it since after he turned 3 .

Not at first we got to a point where he would go to school with underpants over a nappy and school would take the nappy off in school ,and send him home the same and I would take the nappy off when he got home we did have a lot of accidents but eventually we got to a point where he recognised he needed to use the toilet it just took a lot of persevering, it might not be so bad for your son but you need to be consistent and if he's in nursery/school they also need to be consistent

Thank you @carrotcakebae could you sign post me to the flip book you used please? I'm hoping at Easter to have a few nappy free days and sitting on the toilet every 30 mins or so. We have no plans.

@x2boys again thank you. I know I need to really knuckle down with it. It feels like a mammoth task. It's great to know that they can learn with time and perseverance and what worked for other children.

My grandson is autistic, non verbal with global delay. He has just turned 6 and is now going longer between wees. In conjunction with his school, he is put on the toilet at regular times that work with his routine. Sometimes he does wee in the toilet but seems more luck than anything else. However in the last week or so, he has started to bring a fresh nappy when he needs changing. Even though he cannot yet recognise his need to go to the toilet, this does seem like a big step forwards. We are all confident he will get there but like everything else it will take longer.

We used a reward system that DS was used to learning through. Sat him on the potty, and then off the potty (nothing on his bottom half at all) with the hope that he would be on the potty when a wee came. If he wasn’t, I’d lift him immediately onto the potty, make a big fuss and give a reward, so that he made a connection between a wee on the potty and a reward.

Then gradually lengthened the time he was off the potty.

We kept a potty very close to him.

To start off with, we just did this in the day time, and I think we stopped after dinner time.

Again, lengthened the time he was off the potty even more.

He got it within about three or four weeks. We didn’t leave the house, but did play in the garden a lot. It was really intense. But I’m glad we did it as I saw him develop in other ways after, I think it was really beneficial.

He has ASD and was non-verbal and 4yo at the time, and we waited until he was about 8 or 9yo to do night time training, after a few dry nappies in a row in the mornings. And he got it immediately.

My son is 25 now but sounds a lot like your son, non verbal, no understanding etc. My son was in a therapy home program from 3 so we were fortunate that they helped us.

So we bought Huggies pull ups that had a band in the front that blurred when wet (not sure if they are still around ). For 3 or 4 days we gave him a drink on the hour and noted how long it was before he had a wee. It worked out at between 30 and 40 mins. The second week we took the nappy off while he was doing his therapy . We again gave him a drink on the hour (no other drinks) then we would sit him on the toilet and play games, sing to him, show him books etc, anything that would keep him occupied. On the first day he didn’t go the first few times and there were a couple of accidents. If he didn’t go we’d start again by giving him a drink on the hour, it was important that he drank the whole drink. On the fourth attempt he did a wee on the toilet and we all made a big fuss of him, gave him his favourite biscuit etc. it took about 3 days before he was consistently going on the toilet and by the beginning of the 2nd week he was in pants and going to the toilet himself . We were told not to use a potty but go straight to the toilet so as not to confuse him.

Night time just came naturally really within a few weeks although there were a few accidents. He was around 4 at the time.

Does he respond well to visuals? Google a video called Tom's Toilet Triumph - especially made for SEND kids. Really helped my DS.

We tried loads of different methods but the one that helped the most was the singing potty from Amazon. It looks like a mini toilet but a bit more fun and when liquid goes in the potty, it plays an annoying song which DS found very entertaining and it encouraged him to want to do it again until he got used to it.
We still get the odd accident but mostly, he can use the proper toilet fine during the day now.

Still working on the bum wiping part though, he's 8...

I toilet-trained my non-verbal 11-year-old by 4.

I left him without a nappy at home from around 2, watched him like a hawk for signs he wanted to go, led him to the loo (which was a comfortable portaloo type) and sat on the big loo opposite him.

There were LOADS of accidents (because I had two other small children to look after), which I did not react to (I just kept the carpet cleaner out all day).

I NEVER EVER showed any negative feelings towards him around toileting. I didn't put him on the loo according to a timetable, but intuited when he wanted to go. His dad and I let him watch us use the loo/wipe/wash hands etc.

He hasn't had a single accident, day or night, since he was 4.

Thank you all. I'm not sure how I'm going to go about it whilst I'm working too. I hope nursery will help as well by following the same pattern as me. Maybe I ought to take a week off and try first to set up a routine. I'm not expecting him to get it entirely but at least give him an understanding of what happens on the toilet. He watches me go (sits on me 😆)

Nursery should be supportive

He may take to it very quickly ,but it's not the same as toilet training a typical child do you have portage etc involved ?
We also had a strip of pec pictures the learning disability team did for us which was basically a step by step series of pictures of what to do!
We also had a social story .

ERIC has resources specifically aimed at toilet training children with additional needs. I vaguely remember it not being that easy to find on the website but we found it useful.

Our DD (physical as well as learning disabilities) was trained at the age of 12. It's not too late!