Where do i even start with this?
At the beginning I suppose.
Many years ago (late 90s) my younger cousin was sponsored to go to uni in the UK from East Africa.
As my mums neice my mum and stepdad did everything they could for her - bought her warm clothes, helped furnish her uni digs and even drove her to Bath (from London) and helped her settle in. My mum and Stepdad (SD) did everything they would have done as if she was their child. And that's all great - my parents are wonderful decent people.
Over the years we all get on great, she's like another sister to me - we're quite close in age and we often go to gigs and events together. My parents often help her out with diy and moving stuff from place to place as she moves around London. She comes to all family events and I love having her about. I love her like a sister.
And just because I know someone will ask... she has one serious bf, in the time I've known her in the uk, that we meet - the rest have been casual encounters but no one special.
Then the drama.
In late 2019 she receives some whatsapp messages from my SD and after showing them to her friend accuses my SD of sending suggestive text messages to her which she is uncomfortable receiving.
My SD, at this point is 71 and not the most text savvy - he tends to type as he would speak but forgets you're not infront of him to then understand the tone of what he's trying the say. We tend to just speak in the phone now and not text.
She speaks to my mum, her aunt, about this but not my SD. She also doesn't speak to me about this and misses my 40th birthday party - i acknowledge that speaking to me would be tricky so I leave the ball in her court so to speak.
I haven't heard from her since.
When she accused my SD he was broken. He was distraught and so was my mum.
I have known my SD since I was 5 years old and I'm lucky to have had him in my life as another Dad as well as my biological dad.
My SD only ever saw her as another daughter but she didn't want to hear him out, hear an apology or anything he had to say. She'd made up her mind and that was that.
It hurt to think she could think that of my SD and just cut us out.
In the world of "me too" i respected her right to feel as she did and I never heard from her again.
Now, clearly, my mum has kept in touch as she tells me this week that my cousin had seen the error of her ways and is sorry. Very sorry and apologetic.
My mum has now invited her over for Easter Sunday.
She has told her that I'll be fine, that I'm not one to hold grudges as life's too short. That it'll all be ok.
But I don't know I can be as forgiving as my ever christian mother.
My cousin has caused so much hurt and anguish.
I can't see how my parents can forgive her and invite her into their home.
How am I supposed to be in the same room as her?
I know I need to see her and have this out before Easter Sunday but my AIBU is literally that... AIBU to not forgive her??
I dearly want to be the bigger person here but I'm so so hurt for everything she put my dear SD through.
Thank you if you've made it this far.
Help me mumsnetters.