My partner M56 will receive a large bonus in three months time. We've been together nearly 5 years and never had the money for a holiday on our own, just camping with 3 teenage kids. Both of us have had financial difficulties due to covid. I've now been signed off sick indefinitely, plus I have lost a few jobs due to ADHD symptoms. He's going to spend money on putting my car back on the road, with repairs costing £600 to £700. He is going to spend around £5000 on a caravan so he can see his children alternate weekends, as he lost his house when his company ceased trading during covid. This evening, he said that he will be taking his children on holiday. I said that his 19 year old has just returned from Egypt with his gf, and his 16 year old will be going to Hong Kong with her mother. I feel selfish for wanting a holiday with him, when he'll be paying for my car to be on the road, plus he bought it for me. Then sad that he said that he and I can have a long weekend away. I'm probably angry that my life is awful, as i can't hold a job down and that he and I have not had a holiday due to my/our financial position. I struggle with affording food and bills and he gives me money to help.