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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want a little more help?

6 replies

MeMyselfAndIcecream · 26/03/2008 14:15

I think maybe i am being unreasonable but i just need some alone time.

Im a single parent, live with my DM and DD, the only family we have over here is my DB & SIL. None of them ever offer to take DD out or look after her, my mum is fantastic financial wise (always making sure i can afford essentials for DD) and putting up with me living with her but no one ever says "oh ill read her a bed time story tonight" or "would you like me to take DD out for a while while you have a break"

Just sometimes feel a little forgotten and feel sad for DD too as she spends all her time with me!

This is more of a rant really as ive got a little PMT

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 26/03/2008 14:17

it depends

does your mum do the housework/ cooking/ laundry etc? when you say you are living with her what are the benefits for you/ her?

MeMyselfAndIcecream · 26/03/2008 14:19

No the housework is completely shared, infact tbh i do most of it most of the time, i still live with her because im a young mum, am moving out soon though and i pay my mum rent, buy my own food etc..

OP posts:
maisemor · 26/03/2008 14:31

Have you ever just asked her? or your brother or sil. They might be pleased to take her for the weekend and spoil her.

MotherFunk · 26/03/2008 14:38

Message withdrawn

HappyMummyOfOne · 26/03/2008 16:25

I think its nice if grandparents want to help out with childcare but not a given right. After all, your mum spent a large part of her life bringing you up and doesnt want to go back to looking after children.

If she's helping financially, then she may not see the need to help out with childcare as well.

Once you are settled in your own place, you could possibly look for a local sitter.

lucyellensmum · 26/03/2008 17:22

Being a mum is just about the toughest job you can have. When i had DD1 i lived with my parents and really, my mum did take over and i resented it. But who was i to complain, i did minimal housework, cooking etc.

Now i have a two year old, DD1 is 17 and i have a partner and our own house. I can promise you that i never get anyone say to me, oh i'll do xyz so you can have a break, its down to me, end of story - DP works long hours so i do all of the childcare. He is doing bed time now becase thats what DD wants, but for the past 2.5 years ive done it, everynight, often taking 2-3 hours to settle here (we have had some problems there). Then there is the washing, the cooking, cleaning, sorting the dog out etc etc. I often say to DP, blimey i dont remember it ever being this tough!

So while i do understand you are feeling knackered and like you need a break, join a very large club. Your mum has done all of this once already and you are very lucky indeed to have the help that you do have, many aren't so fortunate.

If you feel that DD needs some alternative company, then send her to playschool or take her along to Mother and Toddler, i do this all the time because i want her to mix with other children.

The one good thing though - it gets easier

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