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Original poster

Anyone else turn down their dream job?

30 replies

gentlesea · 10/03/2024 21:29

... because it didn't pay enough? I recently got offered what would have been my dream job. I was so excited but then they lowballed me with the salary (meaning I'd have to take a hefty pay cut) and refused to budge. I did the sums and while it was just enough to cover my costs every month, not being able to have any money left over/be able to save left me very uncomfortable. I'm in my mid 40s and don't want to be living pay cheque to pay cheque. But I'm so sad that I had to turn it down and keep thinking I should have just gone for it.

Anyway, anyone else have to do something similar? Did it work out in the end? Did you still end up doing your dream job at another place?

OP posts:
Hedonism · 10/03/2024 21:46

I turned down my dream job because they wouldn't let me do it part time. I still think about that job sometimes (it was over 5 years ago), but I know it was the right decision.

justanotherlaura · 10/03/2024 21:59

I did, I spent 5 years working in radio and got offered my first TV contract but the money was so low I couldn't afford food after paying my bills so I had to turn it down and change careers. 10 years later I've tripled my salary and have an excellent work/life balance but I still have a twinge of loss whenever I think about it

purplemunkey · 10/03/2024 22:08

Yes. Low salary and zero flexibility which would have made nursery pick-ups very tight. It was the right decision at the time and I've never regretted it.

I may not be in my 'dream job' now but I'm paid well, have good benefits, work with nice people, have flexibility that makes things easier with having a primary age DD, and I take pride in my work.

Original poster
gentlesea · 11/03/2024 18:58

Wow, @justanotherlaura - 3x the salary, amazing!

Yes, @purplemunkey I also have a job now with good pay and benefits but still can't stop thinking about the other more fun job!

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BobbyBiscuits · 11/03/2024 19:02

I had to leave my dream career as my violent ex harassed my bosses and threatened to beat them up, and coerced me to leave. My boss was also a bully but the industry was great. Pay was shite as I was only 19. Lost confidence to go back into that industry and it's way too late now as I can't work anymore.

CrispFanatic · 11/03/2024 19:16

Yes and I literally cried for days after turning them down. It turned out to be the right decision in the end though as I’m in a better, more suitable role now. Still stings a little when I think about it though.

G5000 · 11/03/2024 19:18

it's not a dream job if it does not pay enough.

Original poster
gentlesea · 11/03/2024 20:11

I keep telling myself this @G5000 but it's hard not to start thinking I should have just gone for it.

So sorry to hear that @BobbyBiscuits!

Glad you're in a better job @CrispFanatic! I think this one will sting for a while...

OP posts:
BinsinBonson · 11/03/2024 20:20

I turned down a dream job that paid more - I was offered it just as we were all going into the first lockdown and everything felt up in the air.

I regretted it when it became obvious that the sky wasn’t falling in, but looking back I was being pressurised to make a decision in less than a week in a very unusual situation and I sometimes wonder if I had a lucky escape. My current place gave me longer to decide and there was nothing weird going on in the world.

martinisforeveryone · 11/03/2024 20:25

A dream job is a matter of extreme luck. A dream occupation, sure that's more achievable. There's an old saying that if you spend your days doing something you love, you never 'work' a day in your life. That won't necessarily put a roof over your head, food on the table and pay the bills though, will it.

I think it's pretty much like the mythical 'forever home' for most of us. Lots of factors come into play and they can shift and change. I've never had a job I've loved, or for the most part, jobs that paid well, but most of the time there have been some mitigating factors, a pay off somewhere along the line.

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 11/03/2024 20:25

I left my dream job because of the pay. I'm now in a better paid job with more potential but I don't love it. I don't regret my decision but it was clear that sometimes you can't have it all and I was ready to have more money.

Original poster
gentlesea · 11/03/2024 20:36

This is what I was thinking @SaulHudsonDavidJones, eventually (or not that eventually) I would have to leave again to earn more money.

I guess I am lucky @martinisforeveryone in that I am in my dream occupation/industry but I don't love the job I'm in and it's super stressful. The dream job would have been less stress but a lot less money!

@BinsinBonson you made the best decision you could at the time! I actually felt very resentful at how low the pay was which is why I turned it down but now I'm faced with the reality of staying at my current job...

OP posts:
ChicagoBears · 11/03/2024 20:38

I turned down my dream job which had an eye wateringly high salary because it just wasn’t the right time for me. DC we’re very young and I wanted to maintain my flexibility and ability to be at home more (other role required lot’s of international travel).

I figured that when the DC get older I can refocus and bag that dream job, I don’t regret my decision for a second.

Gowlett · 11/03/2024 20:41

I didn’t take up an interning position (it was relatively new at the time to be offered that instead of a job), as I just couldn’t afford to do that. It would have a been a way into my career of choice.

Original poster
gentlesea · 11/03/2024 21:32

Time with DC is definitely more valuable @ChicagoBears!

That sucks @Gowlett!

OP posts:
WhippetSnappet · 11/03/2024 21:39

I am going through a similar thing at present, one of my very knowledgeable and respected colleagues recently told me;

‘What is meant for you, will not pass you. Everything happens for a reason, even if you don’t know the reason just yet.’

I clung to those words for dear life, hoping they are true.

Jorvik1978 · 11/03/2024 21:50

Back in 2014 I got offered a great job that I turned down because:

  1. Between interview and offer I found out I was pregnant and didn't want to move jobs and then go on maternity leave soon after.
  2. It would have meant relocation and WFH wasn't an option, and the location wasn't one I fancied (the advert for the role had two other locations that would have worked but it transpired they weren't an option).

7 years later, after a COVID-19 pandemic meaning the organisation now offer many of their roles WFH, a similar role at a higher grade was advertised that I applied for and was offered, and I almost took their hand off. It's very much my dream job and I absolutely love it. Just had to wait for the stars to align!

Original poster
gentlesea · 11/03/2024 23:13

I know this saying well and have also been repeating it to myself @WhippetSnappet. Have you turned it down already or still deciding?

Congratulations, @Jorvik1978. Glad it all worked out in the end!

OP posts:
Original poster
gentlesea · 11/03/2024 23:14

Also 2 very good reasons not to take the first job @Jorvik1978.

OP posts:
WhippetSnappet · 12/03/2024 19:21

I have accepted the new job, but having major anxiety about it! Keep second guessing myself!

GwinGwyn · 12/03/2024 19:27

I think a dream job has to tick all the boxes:

  • Enjoyable work
  • Good colleagues
  • Commensurate salary
  • Fits with your lifestyle (e.g. flexible working hours and location)
  • Good harmony with your homelife
  • No Sunday night dreads…

Otherwise it’s your nearly dream job. The thing to take away though is that if you were offered your nearly dream job then that augurs well for your actual dream job. Plus you never know what is around the next corner…

Original poster
gentlesea · 12/03/2024 23:04

Congrats @WhippetSnappet. You are braver than me!

Let's hope so @GwinGwyn but it's hard not to feel gloomy stuck in my current stressful job with a decent salary!

OP posts:
GwinGwyn · 12/03/2024 23:06

gentlesea · 12/03/2024 23:04

Congrats @WhippetSnappet. You are braver than me!

Let's hope so @GwinGwyn but it's hard not to feel gloomy stuck in my current stressful job with a decent salary!

Totally understand that, honestly I do. I know it’s a trite thing to say, but if one of those ducks isn’t in a line then it’s not quite the dream. In the meantime can you find a way to mitigate the stress a bit? Endorphin rewards?

saltinesandcoffeecups · 12/03/2024 23:14

I did it once… it was a job I had been working towards and when it was all but mine to walk into, I told my director “I’m pretty sure we are sitting down to talk about this job, but I don’t think it’s for me”. He was shocked because, as I said he was just about to offer it to me.

In my case it would have been more money, ultimately less work, and I would have learned a lot. I had the added bonus of working for the guy with less experience and was a former peer. (No issues on my part he did a great job and was good to work for…but damn that made me think once or twice)

For some reason my gut told me on that day that taking that job was a mistake.

I can’t say I regret it, I’ve gone on to have a great career and that job has been filled a couple times with really good people.

GwinGwyn · 12/03/2024 23:16

Also @gentlesea it could be worse… someone could be using your dropped kerb to access their driveway… jokes, jokes, don’t look at that thread, it will drive you insane!

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