im trying to end my marriage but its falling on deaf ears. Ive tried to do it the nice way for over a year and im no further forward. Ive told DH that i want to get out of the marriage literally on a monthly basis but hes still done nothing to move forward with getting his own place. The rental is in my name so i cant just leave or i would. He has a good lump sum to go at or get another house with. I have no doubt it will work out for him, if he pulls his head of his arse and does something!!!!!!!!
my reasons for splitting up are-
his drinking (daily)
when drinking hes angry, argumentative and aggressive
he doesnt put his family first and always planning stuff with his mates
i just dont feel the same anymore. No attraction from my end (most likely from years of resentment, not helping round house with cleaning, not parenting)
all three of my children are asd but high functioning albeit frustrating in their own ways! So need extra understanding and patience. Both of which he doesn’t have. We have different parenting styles- mine is love, patience and understanding, his is my way or the highway, arguing
Last night, he was watching a film in a different part of the house drinking (been drinking since lunchtime). Internet signal was crap (plus everyone streaming), i hear him slam the remote on the sofa arm and then he comes running up the stairs, bursts into our bedroom where i am with two of the kids, and aggressively tried to get the controller off of me saying hes coming upstairs now because tv wont work downstairs. I said no. Were in the middle of a film ourselves. Hes raging, one of the kids gets the controller and DH tries to grab it forcefully out of their hand too, swearing and being an idiot (this was 10pm at night). Anyway, he storms off downstairs after the child, i obviously follow, telling him no he cant have it. It ends up, me facing DH and child behind me, with controller, and DH clenched his fist and goes to step towards me to get to child behind. Im like whoa whoa there wtf, all over a tv not working. Child runs off upstairs and DH goes to follow absolutely raging. I said, if you dont stop now you can pack your bags tomorrow. That made him stop. I was so angry
today, ive only had the chance to speak to him alone since hes been pub to meet his parents for mothers day. Two pints in, plus more when he got home this afternoon (that will be him now to 10pm). I broached what happened last night. He clearly didn’t want to talk about it. Kept telling me not to go on. I said about the punch stance but hes almost gaslit me and said it didn’t happen. Even child remembered it. Im trying to protect my children here. Every single weekend hes shouting and swearing, its not nice for any of us. Its my fault though according to him because ive said about divorce!!! Ive said i need him out, he said hes not going anywhere. Apparently my reasons for splitting up are laughable and small issues to him. Hes thrown in that apparently I dont have a life, i have no friends, i dont go out and i just pander to the kids… We ended up in a massive argument but hes refusing to go. How the fuck can i get him out?!