Looking for sanity check...
AIBU to be upset that husband has taken sneaky photos of me in the shower & not told me?
Last year we stayed in a hotel room, a third of which was a glass cubed bathroom with partially obscured glass for privacy.
Without my knowledge, my husband took photos of me with his mobile phone whilst in the shower, washing my hair, etc.
Fast forward 4 months & I've had an accident in my car & husband has taken some photos of the damage on his phone. So back home we've connected his phone to my laptop to download photos for online claim form.
There were 4/5 thumbnails of a naked woman (didn't have my glasses on at the time). I said 'who's that?' You, he replies sheepishly. I took them when we went to J...... I asked him why he didn't tell me & he said because he knew I'd be funny about it. After a few seconds I said, 'Well, I am 'funny' about it because you didn't tell me!'
Later that evening I asked him to delete them & he said he had. I knew his pin at that time, so I looked at his phone but the photos were still in his Bin, so I deleted them. He has since changed his pin.
He has 2 friends who regularly send him soft porn photos, usually with a derogatory (to women) caption which infuriates me, as do some of his responses. One of these friends is over 80!!
I have never said anything as I don't want him to know I've looked at his phone. It was pretty obvious when something of that nature had been sent as he kind of sunk down in the sofa, as you would if a saucy bit came on the TV & you were sat there with your parents, which made me curious enough to look.
I don't think he has sent the photos of me to either of them. I would be so furious if he had. Probably be looking at divorce. As I said, he's now changed the pin..
I feel outraged that, despite knowing I'd be 'funny' about it, he has kept these photos, to look at himself presumably, without any respect for my feelings. It's my body, my decision if there are naked photos in existence. I've had naked pics taken before, but with full knowledge & consent. He has said in the past I seem to hide myself when getting undressed etc & he sometimes takes a sneaky look! Which is ridiculous. We're husband & wife ffs. I don't hide, but neither am I exhibiting my wares at every oppportunity!!
I believe these behaviours are progressive & the tip of the iceberg.
I've been waiting for him to apologise, but I know he won't as he thinks he's done nothing wrong. I feel he has violated my trust & things are decidedly frosty atm.
I'd appreciate your POV, but kindly, please, as I feel a bit shell-shocked.