Fiancé staying out all night with friends and not returning until the following evening

[Quickrunner91]

I am working away from home for a few weeks and that means I only see my fiancé at the weekends. Yesterday, he went out with friends in the evening. His friends are living a 20 minute drive from us.

He doesn’t drink so I know he’ll be sober. He stayed with them all night and texted me today at 1pm saying he’s coming back shortly. I say ok see you soon but he didn’t come. 4 pm comes by and he texted me again saying he’ll be coming when a football match ends.

I feel kind of irked about this - am I overreacting? I’m just worried if he’ll do this when we have children

No that’s not acceptable , he should be prioritising you - he should catch up with friends during the week

I'd be annoyed too. Don't know why he had to be sneaky

What would irritate me is if you were sitting around waiting for him . I hate wasting my time , if it made no difference if he was there or not … like if you were just catching up with house stuff wether he was there or not , I’d be put out but not majorly . If you were sitting waiting to go out with him , then I think I’d be considering my options!

So he only gets to see you at a weekend, but he chose not to spend it with you? Not the kind of relationship I would want to be in.

He may not be able to, not everyone is available on weekdays and seems unlikely to be able to get a group together then.

I don't think he's done anything wrong but equally I understand why it's upset you.

His friends live only 20 minutes away, he doesn't drink, and he spends the night? That wouldn't work for me at all.

Do you know why he hasn't come home all day? Where did he stay, what has he been doing all day?

I wouldn't be happy bearing in mind you only have the weekend together.

If you're working away for only a few weeks, I'm not sure weekends need to be reserved for just you two - if it was months on end I'd see the point!

I'd be more annoyed about the lack of clear communication rather than the actual act, but it's just rude to leave you hanging.

It depends if it’s a one off.

He should communicate better though

The thing that really irked me as well was him saying that some of his friends have wives to go home to so aren’t staying overnight

I’m just worried if he’ll do this when we have children

I stayed out all night with my mates many a time when I didn’t live with my partner, I don’t see why he isn’t allowed . And it’s a huge leap to say would he do this if you’re living together, married with kids. I mean I’ve never done it since kids. But living alone, no kids, sure I did. And my husband wouldn’t be my husband if he had tried to control me and say I was not allowed.

So what like a young teen he has to go home or ask your permission. 🤮

I didn't say that, did I? Everyone is entitled to have whatever kind of relationship that works for them. I choose to be in a relationship with an adult who wants to come home at night and not stay out all night like a teenager.