Mother's Day

[Aquagirl123]

It just struck me that it seems mothers who don't bother with their children much when they are small are much more appreciated/ thought of when the children are older. E.g Zoe Ball's mother left her at 2 years old and they didn't reconnect for years. Now Zoe is cutting back on work to be with her mother after a cancer diagnosis. This isn't the first time I've known this to happen in families. What's the perspective on this, AIBU in thinking the children are still trying to ' earn' their parents love

Maybe they just like each other?

I think it’s daft to say Zoe Ball loves her mum more because she abandoned her, than she would have if her mum had been there all along. I’m sure she would have wanted to care for her unwell parent regardless.

I was actually thinking the same but based on RL. The fuss being made over someone I know was a neglectful parent. It's sad.

I suppose that could be true to a point. I'm completely NC with my "mother", from aged 6 to 18 I had no contact at all. I tried to re connect at 18 and did put an awful lot of effort into trying to make a relationship. I suppose I was trying to earn her love. Unfortunately, completely pointless and ended with me accepting she is what she is and will never be anything else, so I cut her out entirely.

If she had put in the tiniest bit of effort, I would probably be putting in extra effort for the "lost years".

As it is, I have more chance of building up a loving parental relationship with a breeze block.

In therapy about 30 years ago, I came to realise that almost everything I did was about trying to win my mother's approval and make her show me she loved me. She didn't ever tell me she loved me until less than a year before her death (she knew she had terminal cancer). I was 58.

I get it.

Thank you for your insight everyone