To be upset I won't get any family jewellery

[Nsisyagwv]

First of I know I am probably BU but I'm just upset right now

I'm the only grand daughter in my family and it has been told to me since I was little all of the family jewellery would be passed down to me

for some additional info, we're not a rich family or anything like that, but it was like great grandparents engagement / wedding rings, Pearl necklaces that would of been my great great grandmas. A few other bits so nothing hugely valuable, maybe a few thousand pounds. But nice bits of jewellery that belonged to the women in my family.

also to add I don't want this jewellery to sell, I want it as sentimental to keep and pass down to my own daughters

anyway, just been over to see my Nan as she is in ill health and wants me to have the jewellery now before she goes. But it's basically all gone. Just a few pieces of costume jewellery, nothing from my family that is sentimental - like one thing was just a ring she's bought in m&s a couple years that she's never worn

im heartbroken tbh. Shes obviously sold it all (she's had loads of money through her life from inheritance etc and I can't imagine it got her loads of money but she has form for selling whatever she can)

aibu to be upset that all the family Jewellery is gone and I will get nothing basically?

Then why tell someone they will inherit? Are you missing the point?

When my nan started to get on and was losing her marbles a tiny bit (I say this loosely and with love, she was very old) we think she started putting stuff in the bin, maybe so there was less for my mum and her siblings to deal with. Most of her jewellery was costume stuff from the 70s and 80s but most of the pieces I held really dear were never found. I have one thing I remember though and I’m very precious of it. I’m so sorry this has happened OP.

Op has said her Nan is mentally competent - she sounds very independent and quite the character to spin her granddaughter this yarn about heirlooms and then fob her off with a ring she just bought in M & S.

Im pretty sure it wouldn’t go down well if op went back to her nan’s and started rifling through all her drawers.

Older people don’t need to be patronised and treated as helpless.

It's actually the grandmother's possession, not just technically. The OP wanting her grandmother's jewelry does not make it hers.

Of course, I can see why she's upset though. I've lost interest in jewellery over the years so no-one will be fighting over mine 🙂

in this case I’m also a bit surprised that she was doing such a big fuss about a few bits of costume jewellery. I would ask tbh just out of curiosity.
Is she the type who likes to pretend that things are bigger then they are e.g she was outstanding beauty, rich people asked her hand in marriage, famous poet wrote her a poem or more mandate she was practically the main person at work, all neighbours asked for her advice etc etc. And she actually promised her jewellery to each of her relatives.

Because people say all sorts of shit and then forget it.

One of my parents has given to charity shops things we used together for a mutual hobby when I was a child. I know they were my parent's not mine, but I could have been asked!

I would have said what happened to x etc. not sure why you wouldn't just ask.

My dad's step-brother and his wife stole my grandmother's ruby ring after my grandad died while we were on holiday. We returned home to find that they'd been in his house and removed loads of things. Nothing valuable (apart from that ring), but my dad was heartbroken at the betrayal.

Tricky. Hers to sell and I might do the same. Saying that, I have my great grandmother’s wedding ring keeping mine on (it’s falling off otherwise) and a lovely ring from my godmother, plus a bracelet made using my grandfather’s fob from his Sunday best pocket watch. I think I’d be a bit upset if they were sold, but I didn’t know about them till I got them.

Yanbu. My mum buried my grandmother's rings with her, which really hurt. My mum was her only daughter and I'm the only granddaughter. It didn't occur to my mum that I might love to wear her jewellery.

It seems clear to you she has sold them. She clearly felt she needed the money. Or has some sort of secret crack/ gambling habit.
It's a shame, but they were never yours to begin with. Earmarking stuff for yourself always ends in tears when it comes to inheritance etc.
Unless it's in your possession, then it pretty much no longer exists and you have to accept that.
I was gifted some family jewellery and when I lost my job I had to sell a beautiful ring out of desperation. This may not be what happened with this but you have to let it go sadly.

I think that’s a sad attitude to hold about family heirlooms like a great grandmother’s rings. Money inherited is theirs to do with as they please, I guess (though in my family it is expected that you aim to pass down to the next generation in your turn - you benefit from buying a house with a gifted/inherited deposit, so you should be in a position to pay that forward unless something has gone very wrong). But sentimental items and family heirlooms are different in my view - you’re the temporary custodian for this generation not the owner - and shouldn’t be sold unless in absolutely dire financial straits.

I understand that it’s just different ways of looking at the world, but it seems the OP had this view and so did the generations before her grandmother, so it was a reasonable expectation for her grandmother not to have sold them.

Hmm I think you can get too sentimental over inanimate objects sometimes. The reality is the rings and pearl necklace just sat in a drawer for years and the same would happen if you gave them to your daughters; never looked and left in a box.

If the Nan indeed sold them then she should have been honest. She owed you an explanation simply because she had promised you could have them.

We’re in a cost of living crisis and a pensioner living alone could likely need the money. I’d do the same in her position and not feel guilty.

I wouldn’t however pretend some costume jewellery I picked up in M & S was the “family jewellery” I had in mind when I’d promised a granddaughter she would inherit it.

That’s insulting really

My mother bequeathed me items of jewellery; unfortunately my thieving sibling (has form for helping their self to whatever they fancy) took every single piece and gloats at the fact that there’s nothing I can do.
Completely NC, hoping for karma.

Like @SheepAndSword I've lost interest in jewellery as I've aged.
I have my grans rings but they are so worn out after years of wear that they are neither use nor or ornament.
My mum went through her crown jewels the other day, and honestly it left me completely cold.
My mum put huge amount of sentiment on different rings but they were all pretty identical, bought on cruises after I'd left on home and aren't part of my memories.
My teen girls are interested in jewellery but I think they want modern, silver, clean lined stuff not the 1960s heavy gold settings.
Maybe in years to come, family jewellery won't have quite the same pull that it once had. Fashion's do change, the stuff can't love you back but I shall definitely not be buying a lot more in my lifetime, and passing any that comes my way straight to those that will wear it or sell.

I couldn’t get upset about this personally because I don’t care about jewellery and it’s hers to do what she likes with but it seems odd to have made a big drama about giving it away to you if it’s just costume jewellery.

Are you sure someone else hasn’t taken it?