I find it hard to date him due to his busy schedule

[HinesT23]

Started dating a man (OLD) in August. Going well, kind, lovely man. First man I have dated after seven year marriage ended.

Since January he has been working very unsocial hours. Until 10pm most nights, weekends and often in other cities. I am planning a 40th birthday party for myself, he can't come. My Dad has a 70th birthday party in two weeks, he can come after 10pm. Can't even chat about weekends away. I had a rotten flu last week and thought to myself 'would be nice to have him even in my same time zone'.

We are new, I am just starting to consider starting to mix him with friends and family but he's rarely available. Friends are joking they don't think he exists. I am starting to realise this schedule isn't going to work for me. Any MN advice?

Is this a new job since January? Why the sudden change of hours? Do you believe his job is genuine?

It's not a new job, it depends on what project he's on but he's away a lot of this year. He only knows a couple of months in advance.

Yes, it's genuine

He's too busy to date you. It's up to you where you go from here. Can you tell us a bit about the last date you had? Is he organising stuff?

What does he do that involves such hours? Sure he's not married or got another family?

Its a shame but there's surely not much point in continuing if he can't ever see you.

If he is this busy with work for long term then you won't be having any time to be together so what's the point.

What's his job?

He works in theatre, all over the world. Was working on a production at home for a few months when we met.

I've been to some of the productions/seen his social media/met his family so no, he's not married.

I'm not getting how he's worked these hours since January, however was working at home when you met, and yet only met last month?
How many times have you seen him? And already wanting to introduce someone who is a virtual stranger. Why are your family even egging you on and wanting to meet him after only a month?
I think as it's your first experience since your marriage, you've got a bit overexcited and over-invested at an early stage and are pushing along an image of the future already. Most people would think it's way too soon to be invited to family stuff and would make their excuses.
The other thing to consider is why and if he is single and what his dating history is like - lots of short term things is a bad sign and probably a continuous reflection on his lifestyle.
Also, single men who travel for work lots, sometimes date others where their work is at the time, just a possibility.
Have you been to his house? Met any of his friends?

Seems early to introduce to family if you only met him last month & he doesn’t have time to see you?

This thread is from March.

This thread is from march 🙄